guys this is my first attempt and i have no idea if this is even according to the format so please help me out and tell me how i should change and if my essay is on the right track or if i should think of a different idea and also if my idea is too cliched and unoriginal or something?
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
When I joined Karate in 2006 I had never even dreamt of going to participate in National Games in Quetta. I had always been a reserved and cautious person, always thinking twice before doing anything. My purpose of joining Karate was to achieve something, to make myself better and more confident. Slowly and steadily I had been working towards my goal but National Games was a huge leap.
It had only been my second year and I was only a pink belt but I worked hard day and night dreaming of the National Games. My instructor had presented a perfect imagine of how we would go in an air conditioned train how we would stay in hotels and get paid by the Punjab government every day. It all sounded so glamorous and that too for a twelve year old girl. Karate wasn't exactly a safe game, the thought of competing with older and more experienced people frightened me. Soon I was to realize that the people and competition wouldn't be my biggest concern. All my hopes came crashing down when I saw the poorly maintained non air conditioned public train which I was to aboard for the next eighteen hours and that too all alone. All the other athletes were so much older and looked completely ready and focused. The next bombshell was our so called "Hotel" which was actually a public school's room with about twenty mattresses. At that moment all I wanted to do was run back home and forget this entire horrific experience. Towards the second day I started talking to people from different cities. These were people who needed the money more than the experience. Training was vigorous and brutal but I had come so far already, I couldn't give up. The feeling of pride at the opening ceremony of representing my province at a National event cannot be described in words. The competition days started and I tried my best but got eliminated in the second round. Those people had years of experience whereas I only had two years.
In a country like Pakistan girls don't get so many opportunities. The people I was with were mostly poor and had taken these sports up as a career because they needed money. If my mother had known that I would have to live in such conditions she would have never sent me and honestly I would've never gone myself. It is only after having experienced it all I realized how life changing it was. To overcome my fears and to not give up was an achievement in itself. Talking to people, standing up and taking care of myself all on my own were all new to me. It was also the first time I had travelled somewhere alone without my parents that too on a train. There were a lot of "firsts" on this trip, a lot of firsts I never thought I would do. It made me realize all the chances I had missed out on all because I was scared to try. In the end I realized the challenge hadn't been to fight but to overcome all these other problems and that too all on my own. That feeling of accomplishment was enough to make me feel like a winner.