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'The Original Karate Kid' - Common App extracurricural activity

jonjojonjo 4 / 9  
Nov 30, 2011   #1
Although it was a cold winter, atmosphere inside the gym reminded me of hot-summer climate. The crowd was divided into two sides; a group of people who was supporting me seemed like my army and others were like my enemies. Everybody was only watching for us - two of us. I will always remember people who were supporting me with their heart and soul.

That night was probably the most crucial moment of my club. Because that day, we had chance to be the best taekwondo club in Mongolia first time. My coaches seemed like telling me almost all the things they have learnt.

Since everybody relied on me, I couldn't even think about fighting. Now I only remember the vague image of my family standing in the crowd and their eyes were looking like telling me "Come on! Son! You're the best!"

Referee announced fight time, and fight began. My opponent and I were completely reloaded with resoluteness and courage. Apparently, it was the toughest fight I have ever had. We both ended up with no scores after first half. During the second half, I was hit by a powerful-sudden kick, thus I fell with no resistance. Unfortunately, because of that strike, my hand was injured. After that incident, everybody looked like our dream was to hell and gone. Nevertheless, I begged my coach to approve me to continue. He sighed and said "Well, if you think you can do it, I admire your braveness. Now go and make sure who you are"

After pointless half again, we tied, and the fight depended on the situation that who scores firstly wins the fight. I ran away from him for a while and suddenly made jump-kick. Luckily, I hit his head and won the fight. My coaches hardly ran and hugged me. The victorious roar was echoing across the gym. After that, I had great laugh, after watching "Karate Kid". But everybody who was there knows who original one is.

diania234 1 / 6  
Nov 30, 2011   #2
Good essay but its a bit off. For college you need to describe yourself not a movie. I suggest maybe you talk about how the movie relates to a life experience that has happen in YOUR LIFE. But, your writing was well done.

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