Hi! :)
For the admissions test to medical school in my country we are required to write two essays in an hour based on vague quotes related to major contemporary issues. The main criteria for assessment is that the essay must be well argued, concise and easy to read. However I come from a science background so it's hard to get back into the swing of writing again! Would anyone have any recommendations for individual college classes to help with this task?
Anyway, would really love some feedback on my essay, especially regarding structure and flow (I will return the favour :)). I only had thirty minutes and used no outside sources, so in my opinion it's pretty shoddy :p.
Quote: There is so much good in the worst of us, And so much bad in the best of us, That it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us.
Judgment: without evidence it is prejudice.
Judgment is a fairly subconscious act; most of us actively try to prevent ourselves doing it, however difficult it may be. Although sometimes this intuitive behaviour can protect and guide us away from unfortunate consequences. I argue that we should consciously analyse our reasoning behind our judgments, by asking ourselves "what stimuluses am I responding to in forming that opinion?". Doing so will promote the breakdown of fallacy based prejudice.
The first point to make is that no matter how clear something may first appear to be, there often lies more beneath the surface. The boxing legend "the hurricane" formed the basis for a song by the socially aware Bob Dylan, in which the effects of prejudice in the judicial system are clearly seen. The song documents the story of an African American being trialled for murder in a prejudiced judicial system. Although the jury had no solid evidence to suggest that he committed the crime, he was found guilty based on the juries opinions towards African Americans. After he had spent years in jail, evidence was released that acquitted the hurricane. From this we can conclude that passing judgment based purely on our past experiences can often lead to poor decisions and fallacious reasoning.
However there are cases in which passing judgment is seemingly necessary. Recently, the Australian courts have attempted to protect the rights to the privacy of sex offenders. I argue that if a person commits such as heinous crime, that they forgo some of their rights in order to protect society. The protection of law abiding citizens if of the utmost importance; if we do not judge those that are dangerous, we leave some of the members of society vulnerable to attack. The Bureau of Crime Statistics has repeatedly released strong evidence to suggest that those who commit violent crimes are more likely to re-offend. With this knowledge in mind, is it not reasonable to suggest the segregation of such criminals from the wider community?
To conclude there is evidence for both sides of the argument. Judgment in many cases has been used poorly; sometimes it has been used for the greater good of the community. I argue that we need to base our opinions of people on tangible evidence or specific experiences. Without doing so, prejudice will never vanish from society.
...most of us actively try to prevent ourselves from doing it, however difficult it may be.
Although sometimes this intuitive behavior can protect and guide us away from unfortunate consequences.
I argue that we should consciously analyze our reasoning behind our judgments, by asking ourselves "what stimuli am I responding to in forming that opinion?"
Although the jury had no solid evidence to suggest that he had committed the crime, he was found guilty based on the jury's opinions towards African Americans.
After he had spent years in jail, evidence was released that acquitted the Reuben 'Hurricane' Carter .
To conclude, there is evidence for both sides of the argument.
This is an excellent essay! The use of the story of Hurricane Carter was great too. Good luck with school!
:)
Wait a minute. You had two essays to write. Where is the other one? Or are you allowed to take a pro and con stand and write 2 essays on the same issue?
If I personally wrote something, I would choose a side and argue it. Having a knowledge of recent events definitely helps, and even better when you have actually read into the news headlines (reading the entire news article).
I hope that was helpful. Keeping up on major events makes these types of essays (which schools in the U.S. are using more) much much easier.
