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I kept silent about my sickness; UCHICAGO Supp - (SILENCE)


kabal 9 / 61  
Dec 23, 2012   #1
Susan Sontag, AB'51, wrote that "Silence remains, inescapably, a form of speech." Write about an issue or a situation in
which you remained silent, and explain how silence may speak in ways that you did or did not intend. e Aesthetics of Silence, 1967.

My eyes were closed but i could smell of disinfectant in the air, the quiet sound of constantly moving feet. I was not sure were i was. I gradually opened my eyes and realized i was at the hospital and saw my mum asleep. I didn't know how i got here , but i knew i was responsible.

Ever since i was i child, i have had difficulty breathing. My parents couldn't afford or take the chance for me to undergo a risky operation. However, there were preventive measures i could take if i was every vigilant about the symptoms.

Over the years, i have always been told my parents about my symptoms, but every time i tell them about the first sign, i notice sher anguish and terror. I felt sad everytime i put them through the sam thing again and again, so i decided to take care of my self and show my independece.

When i noticed symptoms again in school, i kept it to my self. My professor asked if everything was okay, but feeling dizzing and tire, i said nothing, hoping to get home and take care of myself.

It happened ! All i could remember was the sweat all over my body, the salty taste in my mouth and somehow listening to my mum saying why, why, why.

Now fully awake, seeing my mother in tears. She was scared and at the same time angry with me." why did you keep silent or am i doing a bad job at this ?", my mother siad.

I was surprised andin tears that my intention was misread . My keeping silence was to relieve the the pressure she had but i somehow increased it exponentially.

My intention was to learn to be independent, but i also learnt what silence was.If there was one thing i took away from this, it is that silence is not only a form of speech, but it is has an attidude of its own; it is like a sign that can be misinterpreted or translated for us. It is better we let our voices heard. For me, i didn't know the words to express my desires without hurting my parents because words are like broken eggs that can't be taken back once said.However, silence is not a good alternative.

/ thanks. BE VERY MEAN PLS

mjaayp 3 / 4  
Dec 25, 2012   #2
yes it was good just review it again for minor errors! use spell check.

i need someone to look over my gwu and common app blurb. help?

good luck!
Rosekareen 5 / 22 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
I agree with them, I think you should show more, like the question asks "how silence may speak in ways that you did or did not intend".

It can be good or bad, depending on the situation. In my country we have a saying: "silence is worth a thousand words."

I hope these helps you.

Aside of that I really liked it :)
OP kabal 9 / 61  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
your comments are like you what me to describe to the reader how ,where, what? Like vividly. Ami right?
can you give me a few examples . sorry if am i little unclear, didn't what to put my life story to the admin officer.
OP kabal 9 / 61  
Dec 28, 2012   #5
PLEASE Read I hope it is a good version.. I need advices about the overall essay, especially the concluding paragraph.

Susan Sontag, AB'51, wrote that "Silence remains, inescapably, a form of speech." Write about an issue or a situation in
which you remained silent, and explain how silence may speak in ways that you did or did not intend. e Aesthetics of Silence, 1967
sunny_joy 4 / 16 7  
Dec 30, 2012   #6
But, over the years, every time I tell my parents about any symptoms, I notice mother's eyes dilate but no tears, her face swells, her hands sweats, as she begins to calmly but urgently order my father on the routine. this is a run on sentence

If there was one thing i took away from thiscapitalize the I

woah! what an intense essay!
OP kabal 9 / 61  
Dec 30, 2012   #7
Help. what do you think about the overall message of the essay.NEED ENDING SUGGESTION
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Dec 30, 2012   #8
You could write about how silence usually betrays what thoughts and emotions people are hiding. But in this case, it betrayed you by implying intentions that were the opposite of what you wanted to accomplish with your silence.

Or about how silence your silence acknowledged how similar you and your mother were, because you blamed yourself for your mother's suffering and she blamed herself for yours.
alicederp 10 / 56 4  
Dec 30, 2012   #9
Hi there,

Firstly, "The campus experience was great, but I lack the class experience. My past experience has motivated me to have this class experience that past students as applauded." <-- You used experience four times...Not a bit deal but repetitive and hurts the flow of the essay.

In my opinion, you should delete the first paragraph and focus more on your experience in Nigeria, much more interesting and unique. Also the answers to your questions about econ have pretty obvious and straightforward answers.

"My future goal is to increase, in one way or another, in wealth reduction wealth among all economic class." <-- What does this mean? I read it a few times but it still doesn't makes sense.

Sorry if I'm a bit too harsh! But I hoped I helped.

Could you please look at my common app essay?


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