'KLEX Image Competition' Stanford - "elaborate on extracurricular, 150 words"

So this is the "elaborate on extracurricular, 150 words"

His face screamed, "Help! I'm weird, awkward, and lost!" I met one of my closest friends at KLEX Image Competition a local photography event, when he came up to me, utterly confused. Just like how my fellow photographers have always taught me to be outgoing and engaged, I opened up to him, guided him to our next meeting, and spoke to him not as an experienced photographer but as a responsible friend whom he could trust. It all seemed natural because at one point, I too had been that confused freshman at his first competition.

Some take being a leader as being in control. I have learned that while leadership can mean heading a photo delegation, it can also mean having that personal quality that inspires others to care, to learn, and to get involved. Now, he is running for the KLEX state board.

HOW BADLY AM I SCREWED?

Hi Steven. Is this an essay you sent in with your application and now you're wondering if it's not great or has hurt your chances?

If that's the case, I think that if you have a strong application, one not so great essay of 150 words should hurt you too badly. Generally colleges review applicants in a holistic way, meaning they take everything into account. Their website even states "We review applications holistically, focusing on academic excellence, intellectual vitality and personal context" So I wouldn't necessarily say that you are "screwed."

Certainly, this essay could use some improvement (at least, in my opinion), but if I were you I'd try and remain optimistic about your chances. Good luck!

@Hiddengrace what r the improvments?

I'm not concerned with grammar stuff just tone and what it shows about me

Hey Brookyrailfan
Your essay seems fine if the title read 'Elaborate on Teamwork and Leadership Skill' but I don't think it describes your ECA at all.

If photography and taking part in photography competition is the ECA you want to elaborate on, maybe you could try to write about what you like to photograph, what you enjoy about it and the challenges you faced in some competitions, etc.

Sorry, I had to go to work.
I definitely agree with Natasha. Your essay is missing a good general flow or single story that it tells. It kind of jumps around and doesn't fulfill what was asked in the instructions. I don't have any clue what KLEX means. The way you describe the person in the beginning is somewhat insulting. It just feels very jumbled, hurried, and doesn't portray very much about you, to be honest.

I think the best approach to this essay is to describe why you participate in this ECA, challenges you've faced, how you've overcome them, and how you've changed for the better because of this activity. Think about what inspired you to write about photography. How did participating in photography help you to become a leader?

Alright im done this got sent to frickin like every school i applied to, im screwed