What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the university community?
Students come from a variety of backgrounds, making each of us unique. As I grew up, I was taught that hard work and leadership will bring success. Because of the strict way my parents raised me, I have a strong work ethic. I'd study for a huge test instead of watching my favorite football team, the New England Patriots, on Sunday nights. Other times, I'd stay home and read or help my mother with the chores instead of going out with friends.
...
Hello,
My edits and suggestions are below:)
( Many)Students come from a variety of backgrounds, making each of us unique. ( You can elaborate ( few sentences) on how backgrounds and diversity make us unique. You can make this your opening paragraph.)
As I grew up, I was taught that hard work and leadership will bring success. Because of the strict way my parents raised me, I have a strong work ethic. (These are great examples! I would love for you to elaborate on what ethics in particular (2-3 sentences):)) I'd study for a huge test instead of watching my favorite football team, the New England Patriots, on Sunday nights. Other times, I'd stay home and read or help my mother with the chores instead of going out with friends.
Because o Leadership being my best trait, I always influence my peers in a positive way, whether it's in group assignments with classmates or a football game with teammates. Therefore, I think that with my leadership and strong work ethic, I would make a great addition to the community at FAMU. ( Elaborate on what leadership is to you, what it means to you, and strong examples of your leadership ~maybe a story)
Hi! I see you have gotten off to a great start! I have given you edits to elaborate more. I was not sure how long this essay needed to be so I added some suggestions to help if you need more material. Good luck!
I think you should add more or state specific examples. When I read this, I think that you have positive qualities but I don't know you. If you state specific examples, then I get to picture what you will be like as a student. If you state specific examples then they will get to know you as a student. Let me give an example.
I am excited to apply to FAMU because it is ranked as one of the top colleges. I have done well academically and I strive for excellence in everything I do. I have tutored at an after school program and mentored children who needed a positive role model. This helped me to develop strong leadership skills that I hope I can continue to use as a FAMU student.
This is not a true example. Yet, I have personally tutored students. I linked this to leadership and stated that I want to use this as a FAMU student to help you to see how you should explain your qualities. Explain how you influence your peers in a positive way. The key is to focus on how your qualities or unique characteristics will help you contribute to the university community (students, faculty, staff, alumni, etc). For example, as a leader you can help tutor other students in your program,lend a helping hand during an event at the university, or work on campus. Begin to brainstorm! I think you are on the right track. If you need assistance also visit FAMU's website to see what the university has to offer or use any packets you have with information about the university. This will help you get ideas on what to write.