Hi this is my personal profile, I have 270 word counts but the paragraph is limit to 200 words, please comment and edit my paragraphs.
Tell us about an experience, in school or out, that taught you something about yourself and/or the world around you. (maximum 200 words)
I'm passionate in computer programming, but a trip to a senior home allowed me to discover a new hobby that i still do it on regular basis. When i was 14 years old, a torrid and serenity summer, I was invited to volunteer at a senior home by my bakery teacher. Our mission was to bake delicious muffins and tasty cookies that we learned and present them to seniors. I thought the outcome would be as I imagined, server cookies and muffins, play bingo with grandpas and grandmas. However, i was ask to exchange the happiest day in my life with the elders. I shared the story that how I received my principal honor roll at school and was asked to present a speech on the stage. In return, a grandpa, Mr. Falcon, shared that "today" was the happiest day of his life. Grandpa Falcon is a happy man but he lost his son unfortunately, regardless, grandpa Falcon learned to smile and move on. Grandpa Falcon said he haven't had someone visited him for a long time, but today he felt delighted and blessed. After listened to grandpa Falcon's story, I felt very warm and fuzzy because I never knew such a small mission can lead to someone's happiest day. In this experience, I learned that any little things that I do can have such impact to people around me. I believe that if I stay positive, then I will have positive influence around me. Till today, I still visit the senior home and grandpa Falcon every Saturday morning, I like to bake cookies, play bingo and share my happiness.
Hi, Ethan, I edited the essay down to 199 words. I hope you can use this version instead or use it as a sample for your own revision. You just needed to combine events and learn to edit the unnecessary parts. Maybe this will work for you.
When I was 14 years old, I took baking classes since I had an interest in culinary arts. Little did I know that my interest in baking cakes and cookies would lead me to an eye opening and life altering experience. That was the summer when our baking instructor had us bake goodies for our visit to the local senior home.
One of the seniors really made an impression me because he had lived at the home for so long without a visitor. Grandpa Falcon told us that this was the happiest day of his life since his son died and he no longer had visitors. The other residents shared his sentiment , not having had visitors for some time as well.
I never knew such a small mission could lead to someone's happiest day. I learned that there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. It will always have a large impact on others. I decided that I would continue to visit the local elderly home. Every Saturday morning, Grandpa Falcon and his friends have me for a visitor, armed with my freshly bakes goodies, ready for a special day of Bingo and simple companionship.
Just a note,
One of the seniors really made an impression on me because he had lived at the home for so long without a visitor. Grandpa Falcon told us that this was the happiest day of his life since his son died and he no longer had visitors. The other residents shared his sentiment , not having had visitors for some time as well.
