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'Lego blocks / Carnegie Project / Electrical Tech' - Brown Engineering Supplement



dsacks 10 / 19  
Dec 28, 2008   #1
Any tips on structure or grammar are greatly appreciated.

1. Many applicants to college are unsure about eventual majors. What factors led you to an interest in Engineering as a major in college and/or a post-undergraduate career?

2. What experiences beyond school work have broadened your interest in this field?

3. Brown offers programs in Biomedical, Chemical, Civil, Computer, Electrical, Materials, and Mechanical Engineering. Because there is a common core curriculum within Engineering, students need not select a specific area until their junior year. However, we are curious as to whether any particular program within Engineering presently appeals to you. Please discuss that choice if you have one.

1. My favorite childhood toys started out as mountains of Lego pieces, but would soon become intricate creations. I would build the most elaborate buildings and vehicles and then destroy them, only to start on a bigger and better project. Today, I have the same creative, engineering-based mindset. Nothing is perfect; everything can be altered for improvement, which is what I often recognize when I view my surroundings. Being the CEO of a software company, my father works with different types of engineers on a daily basis. He has frequently mentioned that they are the most intelligent of his employees. As I seeked to improve my creations as a child, I seek to improve myself today and strive to be the best I can be.

2. I spent the past summer interning at Stanford University, working for Professor Prinz on the Carnegie Project. The primary goal of this project is to produce a more efficient solar cell using the most advanced technology of our time. From the beginning, my work captivated me. I designed and fabricated the insulation for a scanning device used to measure quantum dots of material. I spent two weeks of my summer, sophomore year, at the National Student Leadership Conference with emphasis in engineering at UC Berkeley. There, I learned basic information about many fields of engineering, thus narrowing my search for a program in engineering that I find most interesting.

3. As of now, I am not certain as to which engineering program I will end up focusing on. While interning at Stanford, I was exposed to a combination of electrical and mechanical engineering, which fascinated me. Computers and other electrical/mechanical technologies are essential in daily life, and advancements are constantly being made. I want to not only have an understanding of my surroundings, but also be a part of the innovation.

Linnus 6 / 82  
Dec 28, 2008   #2
1. My favorite childhood toys started out as mountains of Lego pieces thatbut would soon becomebecame intricate creations. I would build the most elaborate buildings and vehicles and then destroy them, only to start on a bigger and better project. Today, I have the same creative, engineering-based mindset. Nothing is perfect; everything can be altered for improvement, which is what I often recognize when I view my surroundings. Being the CEO of a software company, my father works with different types of engineers on a daily basis. He has frequently mentioned that they are the most intelligent of his employees. As I seeked to improve my creations as a child, I seek to improve myself today and strive to be the best I can be.
OP dsacks 10 / 19  
Dec 28, 2008   #3
Thanks a lot.

What is the past tense of "seek"?
Linnus 6 / 82  
Dec 28, 2008   #4
I believe the past tense of "seek" is "sought".
But if you "sought" to improve your creations as a child I believe that means you do not want to improve your creations anymore.

"As I sought to improve my creations as a child, I seek to improve myself today and strive to be the best I can be" doesn't sound right.
joke0611 5 / 18  
Dec 29, 2008   #5
i'm answering the same question, but for chemistry

it says no more than 500 words so you should maybe be more specific or just add more detail as much as possible
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 30, 2008   #6
Yes, that is correct about "sought."

I can't find much room for improvement here; you write very clearly. However, here is a fix:


As of now, I am not certain as to which engineering program I will choose . While interning at Stanford, I was exposed to a combination of electrical and mechanical engineering, which fascinated me. Computers and other electrical/mechanical technologies are intriguing to me in daily life, and advancements are constantly being made. I want to not only have an understanding of my surroundings, but also be a part of the innovation.


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