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LEGO - The urge to create is equally strong in all children. It's imagination that counts, not skill



Charphil 5 / 25  
Dec 27, 2014   #1
Hey Everyone! Cornell is my top choice university and I would appreciate a lot if anyone could give me some feedback on this! I will return the favor! I am kind of running out of time and I want to submit this essay ASAP so any help would do it!

thanks in advance!

Why are you excited to pursue your chosen major in AAP? What specifically about AAP and Cornell University will help you fulfill your academic and creative interests and long-term goals? (Please limit your response to 650 words.)

"The urge to create is equally strong in all children. It's imagination that counts, not skill. You build whatever comes into your head, the way you want it." - Lego's Instructions to Parents from 1973.

Since childhood, I developed interest for arts and creation in general. When I was 7 years old I took art lessons with a professional artist at Studio Lazar, Săo Paulo, Brazil. I would often paint things from my imagination and when I wasn't in the mood to paint I would create structures with empty bottles, cereal boxes, cardboards, and wood sticks. It would be a lie to say that it was childish. The truth was that I loved whatever I created and I enjoyed expressing my creativity. Since ninth grade I have been cultivating my dream of becoming an architect and attending a well-respected university to achieve this goal.

I have passion for creation, innovation, and change; what I seek is artistic freedom and a means of personal expression and the College of AAP is the best place for me to explore all of this. I am passionate about the idea of completing a B.Arch due to my great interest on how things fit together and how each design focusses on the necessities of the people who enter a specific building. I want to facilitate interaction, care for the environment, and develop new aesthetic implications through architecture. I want to keep "thinking otherwise" and use the academic freedom that I will receive at Cornell University to keep feeding my creativity and imagination.

I am conscious that success is dependent on effort and I am willing to do whatever it takes to thrive as an architectural student. Before deciding to apply to Cornell I've researched a lot about the university and I found out that there are several things that make the College of AAP appealing to me. The student-teacher ratio is ones of them. I know from experience that small class sizes will provide the perfect environment for a hard-working student to strive at his courses and succeed in his career. I want to be part of the change I want to see in the world; and to be part of it, I need to be able to learn as much as possible, take advantage of every opportunity I get to expand my knowledge, grow intellectually, mature, and explore the best out of my creativity. As one of the most selective colleges in the US, the College of AAP sticks to the best and I strongly believe that it is the ideal place for someone with objectives like mine.

Moreover, unique opportunities such as Cornell's Architecture in Rome study abroad program will give me a remarkable cultural and learning experience. Studying abroad will strengthen my cultural awareness and provide me other perspectives concerning architecture. Living in another country will give me space to learn a new language, and get closer to other students, things that will make both my social and academic lives at Cornell much more vibrant.

Also, joining clubs and organizations related to architecture such as the American Institute of Architecture Students (which focus mainly on an architectural education and in the development of essential architectural skills) and other clubs involving community service, hobbies, and athletics is on my "must-do" list. Clubs will provide me the chance to meet new people, learn about other cultures, and discover new interests. These are going to be key tools in my formation not only as a great architect, but also as a well-rounded citizen of the world. All I want is to graduate from a great college and use my degree and creativity to change the way civilization perceives the world through architecture. I am confident that if I am granted the opportunity to attend Cornell University, new doors will open for me in the future and that is how I intend to make a difference.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 28, 2014   #2
Not bad Philipe. The essay clearly responds to the prompt and offers full insight into the development of your interest in the field and how AAP, along with Cornell, will be able to help you harness your already existing skills in order to help you achieve your goals and ambitions. That said, I would like to point out some grammar corrections that are necessary for the perfection of your essay.I will also tighten the essay by deleting some parts which will make the essay more interesting and faster to read. Let me point those out for you below.

Since childhood, I developed interest for arts and creation in general.When I was 7 years old I took art lessons with a professional artist at Studio Lazar, Săo Paulo, Brazil. I would often paint things from my imagination and when I wasn't in the mood to paint I would create structures with empty bottles, cereal boxes, cardboards, and wood sticks. It would be a lie to say that it was childish. The truth was that I loved whatever I created and I enjoyed expressing my creativity. Since ninth grade I have been cultivating my dream of becoming an architect and attending a well-respected university to achieve this goal.

- Those Lego instructions have resonated strongly with me throughout my life. That is why when I was 7 years old... It was in the 9th grade when I finally realize that my Lego activities were the foundation for my passion in architecture.

I have passion for creation, innovation, and change; what I seek is artistic freedom and a means of personal expression and the College of AAP is the best place for me to explore all of this. I am passionate about the idea of completing a B.Arch due to my great interest on how things fit together and how each design focuss es on the necessities of the people who enter a specific building. I want to facilitate interaction, care for the environment, and develop new aesthetic implications through architecture. I want to keep "thinking otherwise" and use the academic freedom that I will receive at Cornell University to keep feeding my creativity and imagination.

- ... interest in how things fit...

I am conscious that success is dependent on effort and I am willing to do whatever it takes to thrive as an architectural student. Before deciding to apply to Cornell I've researched a lot about the university and I found out that there are several things that make the College of AAP appealing to me. The student-teacher ratio is ones of them.

and athletics is on my "must-do" list.

- are on
OP Charphil 5 / 25  
Dec 29, 2014   #3
Thanks a lot for the help vangiespen! I am alredy making the changes you suggested and correcting the grammar mistakes! after that I am going to submit my Cornell Application to the College of AAP and I hope this essay can really help me to get in! I really appreciate your feedback!


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