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'I lend a hand' - Why did you choose this field of study?



Dii 6 / 24  
Dec 14, 2011   #1
Why did you choose this field of study?
I watched him struggle to fold the edges of the paper smoothly with his little fat fingers, and I could not help but walk over to my little cousin and straighten those edges with him. As we watched our little paper aeroplane take its flight we argued on how far it would go before it falls and how we could make the next one fly further.

This is the sort of person I am. I can not help but lend a hand especially when it involves setting up an appliance or building something up.

I thirst for knowledge for creating solutions to everyday puzzles. This 'puzzles' create the enigma of life and the human nature that surpass the human intellect.

In the past year, I have been torn between choosing pre-med and engineering as my undergraduate major; Pre-med because I am interested in the complexity of the human nature and its enhancement, and engineering because I enjoy creating solutions to problems.

After much weighing and reasoning I choose engineering- bioengineering because it duly combines my interests in the human nature and creating solutions to conventional problems.

Daybreak 3 / 32  
Dec 14, 2011   #2
Overall, this is good. I especially like the beginning. However, I do think you should dwell more on why bioengineering, which is, after all, your final choice. You explain why medicine and you explain why engineering. The you explain bioengineering by saying it's ideal because it's a combination of the two. What I think you should do next is give one more reason why you like bioengineering without relating it to your previous choices; give the career its own merit, what about it do you find specifically interesting?

As we watched our little paper aeroplane take its flight we argued on how far it would go before it falls and how we could make the next one fly further.

In this sentence I'd recommend deleting 'its.' Add a comma after flight and change 'falls' for 'fell.'

On your other essay: What motivated me to apply?
It got locked, but I thought the beginning was especially good. The way you introduced you interest for Rice was, well, interesting :)
OP Dii 6 / 24  
Dec 14, 2011   #3
Wow Thanks. That was a quick response.
I commented on your essay as well


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