"Through My Lens" Common App Essay

Here is my first draft of my common app essay. I'm going into the major of film production. I think it will have to go under option 6 on the common app "Topic of your choice". Any critiques and comments are much appreciated! Thank you!

The world of filmmaking is tough to make it in. I know this. However, I also know that more than anything, viewing the world through a lens is what I was meant to do. I know this because it is what I have always done in one way or another.

It's simple to differentiate a filmmaker from someone else. We are the people who ask, "What if?" We think about what it would be like if things were different. We see the world in a new way that needs to be shown to others around us. We feel the inescapable urge to let our visions be seen and our ideas brought to life. We all have our own views on the world, and we see it in a way that is uniquely beautiful to us. We each have our own lens to view through; a lens that we feel others need to look through. It has been said many times that every story has been told. I don't agree with that because my stories have not been told. My visions have not been seen. I believe I have something new to share, a new angle to look upon the world. Just as every other great filmmaker has. The medium I communicate best with and learn through is visually. I'm a storyteller that uses thousands of pictures to tell my story.

I grew up in a town just south of Music City. Where you wave to everyone even if you don't know them and the horn on your car is used to say hello to a friend. However, I have been fortunate enough to explore the world and expose myself to new cultures my whole life. I've traveled to different continents and explored small islands. I've seen some of the world's largest cities and some of its smallest villages. I've ascended the peaks of mountains and crawled through the depths of caves. I've taken away so much from all of my experiences and they make me who I am today. They have created my unique vision that I need to share with the world. My distinctive lens that only I have been able to see through.

Since I could push the record button I have been making short films and recording different things. From the time when I showed one to my 6th grade class I knew that making films was something distinctive to me, and people enjoyed looking through my perspective. I love the feeling of people viewing and appreciating my work. Also letting them take something away from them whether it be a new idea or just a laugh. Making films is what I enjoy doing and what I feel makes me unique.

Through my eyes I see a different angle from anyone else. I want to spend my life sharing this angle with others through my films. My travels and experiences have shaped me into a person from a friendly southern town who has a broad outlook and big dreams. I need to share my lens with the world.

I think it should be visual. Visually is an adverb, whereas in this sentence you need an adjective.
I'm not sure though.


I think these two sentences should be in a single sentence, because the second one looks like a sentence fragment.


This is all fine, but it would be better if you pick one of the experiences and describe it in detail. Describe it in such a way that shows your love for film making. Right now you sound more like a poet than a film maker.


You said more or less the same things in the second paragraph.

The conclusion suffers from the same problem.

good sentence... I like the tone you set with your sentence structure.

Quote marks would be good here:
Since I could push the "record" button...

:-)