Hey everyone! I'm from India and this is my CommonApp essay. I'd love it if you could go through it and suggest any changes possible.
"I promise to be loyal to my country and countrymen, for in their prosperity lies my happiness" - The Indian National Pledge
Growing up, I recited this pledge with pride each morning at school. But when loyalty to my country meant abandoning loyalty to my countrymen, I stood up against the belief that patriotism entailed blind allegiance to the actions of my nation.
A heart wrenching book by Mirza Waheed, a Kashmiri author, depicting the story of a boy who was forced by the Army to count corpses of his own countrymen along the contentious Line of Control between India and Pakistan had the same effect on me as Allen Ginsberg's poetry must have had on American students during the Vietnam War. "The Collaborator" shattered the urban bubble I lived in, making me question my nation's policy in its most volatile region - Kashmir.
On realising that grave human rights violations were taking place under the pretence of "national security", I decided to spread awareness about the conflict and counter allegations of being unpatriotic by putting forth the opinions of Kashmiri students in the mainstream media as part of a project called "Voices from the Valley". By persuading my Editor at the Times of India's Student Edition to publish their articles and by sending petitions to the Chief Minister and the Governor of Kashmir, I received official sanction for my initiative and four months later I landed in the Valley.
"What's the difference between bullets and firecrackers - both are equally common here", said Shah Arusha, one of the five students selected for Voices from the Valley, as we stood inside Srinagar's Jamia Masjid while Eid celebrations continued outside. Her words echoed the sentiments of pain, loss and outrage that I heard from over a hundred students in three different schools across the region. Theirs was a tale of democracy denied, for in Kashmir the civil liberties I'd learned to take for granted were severely constrained by militancy and counter-insurgency. For instance, in Baramullah, it was only the guise of a tourist that allowed me to get past an Army checkpoint to reach the interiors of Kashmir but restrictions on the freedom of the press prevented me from reporting the stories which I heard there - like those of the old man from Patan who showed me scars left behind by alleged third degree torture.
On Independence Day, when I'd lost all hope in a region that mourned a day of national celebration, a farmer's boy in Anantnag jumped onto his father's cart and gave me a smart salute; almost as if he knew that I needed a reaffirmation of faith in my nation. I want to build upon that salute by using words and ideas instead of bullets and tear gas canisters to humanise this conflict and show the nation that all Kashmiris are not terrorists - they too have their hopes, their dreams, their aspirations.
At a pivotal moment in history, India is wracked by simmering internal divides. It is time for me not merely to report, but to understand and attempt to solve the myriad problems faced by my country. Thus, I want to collaborate with students from around the world to analyse social phenomenon ranging from the Balkanisation of Eastern Europe to the Rwandan genocide and examine the roots of ethnic and racial divides to attempt to develop solutions for conflicts not just in Kashmir, but across the globe.
My heart, however, lies in India and my future is amongst her marginalised people. I will continue to stand up for what I believe in, upholding the rights of citizens over perceived loyalty to the State, for if I do not try to make a difference, I will be disobeying the pledge I have so often taken for my nation.
"I promise to be loyal to my country and countrymen, for in their prosperity lies my happiness" - The Indian National Pledge
Growing up, I recited this pledge with pride each morning at school. But when loyalty to my country meant abandoning loyalty to my countrymen, I stood up against the belief that patriotism entailed blind allegiance to the actions of my nation.
A heart wrenching book by Mirza Waheed, a Kashmiri author, depicting the story of a boy who was forced by the Army to count corpses of his own countrymen along the contentious Line of Control between India and Pakistan had the same effect on me as Allen Ginsberg's poetry must have had on American students during the Vietnam War. "The Collaborator" shattered the urban bubble I lived in, making me question my nation's policy in its most volatile region - Kashmir.
On realising that grave human rights violations were taking place under the pretence of "national security", I decided to spread awareness about the conflict and counter allegations of being unpatriotic by putting forth the opinions of Kashmiri students in the mainstream media as part of a project called "Voices from the Valley". By persuading my Editor at the Times of India's Student Edition to publish their articles and by sending petitions to the Chief Minister and the Governor of Kashmir, I received official sanction for my initiative and four months later I landed in the Valley.
"What's the difference between bullets and firecrackers - both are equally common here", said Shah Arusha, one of the five students selected for Voices from the Valley, as we stood inside Srinagar's Jamia Masjid while Eid celebrations continued outside. Her words echoed the sentiments of pain, loss and outrage that I heard from over a hundred students in three different schools across the region. Theirs was a tale of democracy denied, for in Kashmir the civil liberties I'd learned to take for granted were severely constrained by militancy and counter-insurgency. For instance, in Baramullah, it was only the guise of a tourist that allowed me to get past an Army checkpoint to reach the interiors of Kashmir but restrictions on the freedom of the press prevented me from reporting the stories which I heard there - like those of the old man from Patan who showed me scars left behind by alleged third degree torture.
On Independence Day, when I'd lost all hope in a region that mourned a day of national celebration, a farmer's boy in Anantnag jumped onto his father's cart and gave me a smart salute; almost as if he knew that I needed a reaffirmation of faith in my nation. I want to build upon that salute by using words and ideas instead of bullets and tear gas canisters to humanise this conflict and show the nation that all Kashmiris are not terrorists - they too have their hopes, their dreams, their aspirations.
At a pivotal moment in history, India is wracked by simmering internal divides. It is time for me not merely to report, but to understand and attempt to solve the myriad problems faced by my country. Thus, I want to collaborate with students from around the world to analyse social phenomenon ranging from the Balkanisation of Eastern Europe to the Rwandan genocide and examine the roots of ethnic and racial divides to attempt to develop solutions for conflicts not just in Kashmir, but across the globe.
My heart, however, lies in India and my future is amongst her marginalised people. I will continue to stand up for what I believe in, upholding the rights of citizens over perceived loyalty to the State, for if I do not try to make a difference, I will be disobeying the pledge I have so often taken for my nation.