'I am a library' - rough draft of Common App

Alrighty, so I mainly need help in making it sound more personal and getting it all organized. I know there are things I could do to make it sound better and say more, but I'm kind of lost right now. Thanks for your help, and I'll make sure to return the favor :)

At the library, there are countless books on almost any subject you can imagine. Vegan cooking? Check. Mystical dragons? You bet. Getting into college? Of course. When researching, it's far too easy to get lost in the sheer amount of information available and end up focusing on just one side of the story over another. Attempting to comprehend it all appears to be futile.

I'm a library; composed of an exotic mixture of black, Chinese, Greek, Swedish, Danish, and Icelandic, I was born with the opportunity to see life with an eye filtered by no culture in particular, but confusing by nature.

Some of my closest friends are Korean. They follow most Korean traditions and they know what bibimbap is. They are Korean not only by blood, but culturally, too. My friends actively identify with their genetic makeup, while I am left to wonder where the culture is that is supposed to come hand in hand with my ethnicities.

This lack of defined culture is confusing and disorienting at times, but it is ideal in regards to getting along with others. With no cultural preconceptions to hold me back, I'm like a book in which everyone is welcome to include their story.

But fate isn't the only thing that has influenced my racial blindness. My parents are the epitome of open-minded; growing up, no set of beliefs was ever forced upon me. I was left to my own devices to figure out what I believe in and who I am, but not to judge others. A five-year-old, I once came home singing a cute song I'd learned from school. Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these! Disgusted, my mother sat me down and explained the possible consequences of this jingle. You can't just talk like that. It may mean nothing to you, but it could make other little girls cry. Think about how it could make other people feel. I've taken her advice to heart.

My ethnicity-independent upbringing is that of tolerance and acceptance, but my interpretation of it is paramount. In an attempt to find a sense of balance in my life, I have decided to embrace other cultures with an eye sans criticism. Together, my ethnic soil, nurtured roots, and vivacious leaves have set me up to mingle with nearly everyone, indiscriminate. I've had a two-hour conversation with a British-accented English teacher from France about beat-boxing. My religious best friend and I have skimmed through her Bible in search of the literal meaning of the seven sacraments of Catholicism. With a petite Korean girl no taller than my shoulder, I've considered the ethical implications of grinding at school dances. My life has been enriched and I have been shaped so much from the people I've talked to and the stories I've heard.

Hopelessly ravaging through the library a week before your next term paper's due, calm down and pick up a book from one area, and then move onto another-maybe even some books that are seemingly unrelated. Eventually you will feel informed and balanced on the topic and ready to write your paper.

i actually think that that was an amazing idea. Comparing yourself to a library, i mean.

i get that you're trying to show that you're composed of many sections, and can entertain people with the most random of topics. And that it doesnt matter to you who comes to talk with you. just like a library.

however, i think that you should add a few more similarities between yourself and the library? maybe something about how its a place of solace, a place where someone can get lost between the tomes of information, and relate that to yourslef (IF you offer solace to people). Or maybe how a library seems formidable before you approach it, but then it becomes a place of comfort where you can spend hours. again: relate that to yourself (again: OF it applies to you).

also, change 'black' in "the mixture of black, Chinese, Greek, Swedish, Danish, and Icelandic" to African, or the specific type of black that you are. because you've given nationalities for the rest, but a color for this.

also, you were probably going to do this yourslef, but if you werent, put the "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!" in quotation marks or italicize them.

good job though :)

Thanks for the feedback! In the original essay, the little song is italicized, but I forgot to make it so on here. I hope my feedback on yours is helpful :)

No problem :))
yes, it really REALLY helped.
sometimes sentence structure is just lost on me. you helped a lot with that.

oh, and UWC is 'special' because it has 13 colleges around the world, and when you apply, it is the selection committee that decides which college you go to.

so it has a really multi-cultural population.

thanks a lot :D
i hope everything works out for you!

I love the idea there with the library but you need more details about you. The sixth paragraph is interesting.However, I am left a little confused at the conclusion.