Hi , can anyone help me with my grammatical error and help in editing the essay? And if you have any opinions , feel free to mention here! Do you guys think if i should add a closing? what closing is appropriate ?
My trip to Christalite Methodist Home in year 2013 was a life-defining time for me. This is my first voluntary work I have done. At there, I am being assigned to plan some entertainments programs for the elderlies. Our group has managed to come out with some activities such as ice breaking games, singing and performing for the elderlies. Seeing the elderlies laugh and smile really warms my heart. After that, all of us walk around and chat with the elderlies. The elderly I chatted with is wheelchair bound and suffer from dementia. We had a very pleasant conversation and I felt that I have learnt a lot of things from him. Just when I was about to leave, he told me that he was grateful to all of us for spending so much effort to plan all those programs for them. After this event, I have learn how such a simple action could make the biggest difference in another journey. Now, whenever I have time in the weekend, I will be going to different places to help out those in need.
When I am in secondary school, my results has not been great. I was eventually posted to the last express class when I was in secondary 3. I told myself that I have to buck up and work hard so that I would not disappoint my parents again. I have received Academic Achievement Awards (2012) for being the top 25% in academic performance and good conduct in school. When I was in Polytechnic, I have taken Diploma Plus in Advanced Computing Mathematics and obtained best performance in modules such as Enterprise Resource Planning and Enterprise Business Processes.
Christalite Methodist Home
My trip to Christalite Methodist Home in year 2013 was a life-defining time for me. This is my first voluntary work I have done. At there, I am being assigned to plan some entertainments programs for the elderlies. Our group has managed to come out with some activities such as ice breaking games, singing and performing for the elderlies. Seeing the elderlies laugh and smile really warms my heart. After that, all of us walk around and chat with the elderlies. The elderly I chatted with is wheelchair bound and suffer from dementia. We had a very pleasant conversation and I felt that I have learnt a lot of things from him. Just when I was about to leave, he told me that he was grateful to all of us for spending so much effort to plan all those programs for them. After this event, I have learn how such a simple action could make the biggest difference in another journey. Now, whenever I have time in the weekend, I will be going to different places to help out those in need.
When I am in secondary school, my results has not been great. I was eventually posted to the last express class when I was in secondary 3. I told myself that I have to buck up and work hard so that I would not disappoint my parents again. I have received Academic Achievement Awards (2012) for being the top 25% in academic performance and good conduct in school. When I was in Polytechnic, I have taken Diploma Plus in Advanced Computing Mathematics and obtained best performance in modules such as Enterprise Resource Planning and Enterprise Business Processes.