Why Brown? (word limit 100)
All my life I have been taught to ask why, to question, to explore; I find that Brown's open curriculum allows me to do just that. Brown gives me the freedom to choose the classes of my interest rather than making me conform to specific guidelines. This university focuses on giving self directed students as me the opportunity to choose the path less trodden. I know that Brown is a university that will encourage me to go beyond what is expected, to keep asking why, to keep questioning, to keep exploring so I can becomes my best version. (98/100)
FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AND CORRECT; I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR FEEDBACK :)
Elani, you have written a pretty good response to the statement prompt. However, it sounds too general and doesn't really allow you to present yourself as a student who is eager to become part of the Brown University community. All your references to the way that the study system is open and allows you to experiment with subjects is the kind of response that can actually be applied to a number of other universities. So you need to get specific about that aspect of Brown in your response.
Try to use references to actual study or teaching methods at Brown that you feel you will be participating in. Make sure that you create a personal connection, message, or sentiment regarding your choice of Brown for your studies. Don't just leave the response like this. It has room for improvement and it all starts with a simple revision of the way you have presented your response. Add some pertinent information to the answer and your response should be all set to use :-)
Louisa, I cannot thank you enough for your much needed feedback. I tried to integrate my diverse interest in order to justify why the brown curriculum would be so good for me. I don't known, however, if I succeeded in creating the personal connection you were previously talking about. Here is my revision, I hope you let me know if it improved (: THANKS AGAIN!!
Elani, your essay has improved. However, I believe that there is an addition to the statement that you can make which would better explain why you chose to attend Brown prior to your presentation of your personal reasons. You can actually quote Francis Wayland, who said that a Brown student should have the freedom to "study what he chose, all that he chose, and nothing but what he chose."
If you can work that statement into the beginning of your response, your statement may carry more weight and a more insightful connection with your personal reasons. I see your response going along the following lines:
Francis Wayland once said that a typical student at the university would ""study what he chose, all that he chose, and nothing but what he chose." His ideology for learning is what drew me to Brown University. I will have the opportunity to choose the path less traveled and chart the broadest intellectual journey possible. Brown is a university that will encourage me to go beyond what is expected; to keep asking why, questioning, and exploring for the sake of knowledge so I can become the best version of myself during my lifetime.
(93 words)
If you like the statement that I developed for you, then you can use this already. Otherwise, develop your new response along these lines and sentiment in order to create a more impressive response to the prompt :-)
Louisa, it is very insightful indeed, thank you! I love the use of the quote, it makes it sound very genuine. I will continue to develop the statement along those lines, thanks again and wish me luck :)
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