I suppose I need some confirmation on what I should write about exactly.
1. The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.
I was an ER Volunteer for around 9 months. I did it because I was playing with the idea of going into the medical field, and I had tons of experiences that really solidified that I wanted to be a nurse. Is this okay to talk about? I don't want it to come out as a "record of your participation in school-related activities".
No, you'll be fine! That is some great experience, in the ER...
They invite you to tell give them a reason to accept you. If you were them, would you choose you over someone else? That is how you have to think. If you would choose you, why would you? Are you particularly motivated to help people with certain types of problems? Do you have high aspirations for contributing to the field of nursing? If you can write something that will inspire the reader, without being melodramatic, that is key. If you write something that someone can enjoy reading, you win.
At the start and at the end, refer to your PURPOSE. And don't be boring.
It was only recently that I even contemplated a career in the medical field. For the majority of my youth, I spent hours reading books and writing fiction. I took classes on creative writing and enjoyed every minute of my English courses. It seemed only natural that I'd pursue English and writing, but as I approached my applications for college, I began to doubt myself. Could I really spend my whole life writing on demand, and was I even good enough? It was then that I expressed my concerns to my family. My aunt, a registered nurse in a gastroenterology office, suggested I pursued a career in nursing.
I started volunteering in the emergency room of St. David's North Austin Medical Center on September 16th, 2006. To say I was unprepared for the night ahead of me was an understatement; I knew nothing of the medical field aside from what I saw on the Discovery Health channel and the idea of needles and injections would sometimes send me into panic. If it wasn't for my aunt, chances are I never would have even seen St. David's emergency room, let alone be working in it. I didn't let this hold me back, however, and gladly, albeit nervously, approached the double doors and used my ID badge to let me in.
In the months following, I witnessed a wide range of events. It seemed that everyday I would be exposed to a new situation, from stitches, catheters and broken bones to brain hemorrhages, cardiac arrests and even death. The tasks I was given were considered small in comparison to what the professionals were doing, like pulling the crash cart into the room, or getting rid of needle packaging. Regardless, I still felt like I was making a difference. It was enough to make me eager to come back each week, excited at the prospect of helping those in need.
Midway through my time in the emergency room, I had solidified what I wanted to do with my life. I had seen many patients suffer, some who even had passed away in the process. However, I also witnessed many patients who left the emergency room in a better state than when they came in, all thanks to the doctors and nurses who gave them their full devotion. I thought to myself, if I could change the course of someone's life, then I could live knowing I made a difference. When I filled out my college applications, I chose nursing without any hesitation.
I am no longer a volunteer for St. David's but instead am pursuing my dream career as a nurse anesthetist. For now, I am completely devoted to my studies and want nothing more than to learn and retain every piece of information that I can, that way, I can be the best nurse to my patients. Eventually I will take my place in the hospital once more, this time not as a volunteer but as a nurse and I look forward to that day.
It's such a relief reading essays written by people who were once aspiring writers -- they have such a strong style and sense of grammar. A few minor proofreading things, though:
"In comparison to what the professionals were doing, the tasks I was given were small, like pulling the crash cart into the room, or getting rid of needle packaging."
"For now, I am completely devoted to my studies and want nothing more than to learn and retain every piece of information that I can; that way, I can be the best nurse to my patients."
"this time not as a volunteer but as a nurse, and I look forward to that day."
To say I was unprepared for the night ahead of me would be an understatement; I knew nothing of the medical field aside from what I saw on the Discovery Health channel, and the idea of needles and injections would sometimes send me into panic.
A dash would be cool here:
It seemed that everyday I would be exposed to a new situation -- from stitches, catheters and broken bones to brain hemorrhages, cardiac arrests and even death.
No comma is necessary here:
...like pulling the crash cart into the room, or getting rid of needle packaging. (but that is no big deal).
You know, your essay renewed my interest in medicine and inspired me to want to get involved in it, ha ha. Every time I go into a hospital I feel like I should work there. Congratulations for this great career path.
Eventually I will take my place in the hospital once more -- this time not as a volunteer but as a well-educated nurse -- and I look forward to that day.
...reading essays written by people who, were once aspiring in addition to their chosen careers, are also excellent writers ...
:)
Thank you both for the help, I really do appreciate it!
I'm going to start working on the second essay and hopefully complete that this evening and I'd be happy if you guys would look over that one as well. :)
We certainly will be happy to.
:)
The second topic I was given was this:
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
I'm very unsure of how to approach this. When I was younger, I was constantly moving (I went to 9 schools total by the time I graduated high school), and as a result had zero lasting friendships and was extremely depressed. I blamed the situation on my father, but it really wasn't until recently that I realized the whole ordeal had a very positive impact on my life. Can this be considered an "issue", or do you think they're looking more along the lines of my.. stance, I guess, on something?
I don't know... they said it could be "personal" too! It seems okay, but I agree that they probably want your stance on something.
Remember that this essay is a component within your overall application, so, just as an essay has to have a theme that threads it all together, your application should, too. Choose an issue relate to your intended field, your passion and goals. Choose an issue that you can write about in a way that shows that you are going to live powerfully as you embark upon your career in medicine.
Great advice from Kevin. You could write on a personal issue, but taking a stance on a medical issue would do more to advance your application, because it would show that you are informed about the area of study you are applying to join.
Okay, I'll work on it. :)
As often as we can, my dad and I get together and make a trip to The Blood and Tissue Center of Central Texas to donate blood. On the way there, we make bets as to who can donate the fastest and the loser buys lunch. During the actual procedure, we'd taunt each other, talk, laugh and generally have a good time. Originally, being a donor was not about helping someone else, but instead about getting over my needle phobia and spending quality time (and getting a free lunch, usually!) with my dad.
However, my reasoning behind donating has somewhat changed as I've acquired more knowledge about the subject. As a previous emergency room volunteer and a dedicated nursing student, I've learned about the importance of blood transfusions and how there can often times be blood shortages. For me, this is more than enough reason to be a regular donor. A small prick and an hour or two of my time is an easy way to make a difference in someone's life.
I strongly believe that individuals who can properly donate should do so regularly. I'm well aware of the reasoning behind people's neglect for the procedure; after all, I, too, faced an extreme fear of needles. I, too, sometimes get stuck improperly and it can be painful. I, too, am busy with school and just life in general. And yes, I have been deferred for a low iron level on a handful of occasions. These circumstances have never stopped me from donating again and it should not stop others from doing so either.
It's crucial that others recognize the importance of blood, and while I cannot instill that knowledge into everyone, I do plan on continuing my regular donation and effortlessly encouraging those around me. In my mind, even if I can get one more person to donate, it will make all the difference to someone.
I wanted to add a small bit about how you should donate because of the free snacks and drinks, but I couldn't incorporate it! Oh well. Maybe that's for the best. :)
Probably just as well not to mention the free snacks and drinks! I'm not sure that would be a very big incentive anyway, unless the snack was a lobster, say, or at least a pizza! Where I donate, it's orange juice and donuts!
Good essay.
:)
Yeah, the essay seems solid as it stands. Really, saving someone's life versus free snacks -- it would be difficult to segue from one topic to the other while maintaining serious tone.