I need help! Grammar help and any feedback would be nice. And how to make it a bit longer
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
While growing up in NYC, I realized that there are many varieties of people ranging from their background, religion and viewpoints. From where I live, I live in a predominately Italian and Asian neighborhood, and I learned and adapted from their cultures. It's also fascinating to know that a train or bus ride away I could visit and experience another different group of people and their culture. But a place where I could really experience diversity in this city is my current highschool and it brings together many groups of people from all of its five boroughs.
When I came to school I had a specific taste in interests, viewpoints and a pretty closed mindset. I used to be someone who didn't have a large variety of interests who wouldn't really try other genres and styles. At the time I couldn't really see others viewpoints, I was fixated on certain ideals and thoughts. But as school progressed I met many new people and learned about many new things. I learned so much about Islam, Judaism, politics, music and style just by being friends with many people and having conversations with them that it made me appreciate the different styles and cultures around me. One thing I like specifically is that since people come from all over the city, hanging out with friends would often involve going to new places and trying new things. Doing this is something I would never get from a local zoned school.
After going through my school, I've learned all types of cultures, experience and ideals. Being in a school where it's diverse has taught me how to be open to new ideas and made me realized that everyone is different and has their own outlook for everything. I can now see why people view things a certain way.
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
While growing up in NYC, I realized that there are many varieties of people ranging from their background, religion and viewpoints. From where I live, I live in a predominately Italian and Asian neighborhood, and I learned and adapted from their cultures. It's also fascinating to know that a train or bus ride away I could visit and experience another different group of people and their culture. But a place where I could really experience diversity in this city is my current highschool and it brings together many groups of people from all of its five boroughs.
When I came to school I had a specific taste in interests, viewpoints and a pretty closed mindset. I used to be someone who didn't have a large variety of interests who wouldn't really try other genres and styles. At the time I couldn't really see others viewpoints, I was fixated on certain ideals and thoughts. But as school progressed I met many new people and learned about many new things. I learned so much about Islam, Judaism, politics, music and style just by being friends with many people and having conversations with them that it made me appreciate the different styles and cultures around me. One thing I like specifically is that since people come from all over the city, hanging out with friends would often involve going to new places and trying new things. Doing this is something I would never get from a local zoned school.
After going through my school, I've learned all types of cultures, experience and ideals. Being in a school where it's diverse has taught me how to be open to new ideas and made me realized that everyone is different and has their own outlook for everything. I can now see why people view things a certain way.
