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Supplement for LMU: "The Journey to be Oneself"



emmelinew 2 / 8  
Oct 28, 2009   #1
LMU Supplement
Emmeline Wang
Prompt #1
here is the prompt:
STATEMENT 1: In his homily at the Class of 2005's Baccalaureate Mass, LMU's President Fr. Robert Lawton, S.J., said: ''So what is the answer to this deep insecurity we all feel? The answer, I think, is to embrace the adventure of becoming deeply, and fully, ourselves. This is what God is really calling us to. It seems like the riskiest of all journeys, this journey to be one self. But it's ultimately the journey that leads us to happiness, that leads us into God's dreams for us.''

QUESTION 1: Why do you think Fr. Lawton says the ''journey to be oneself'' seems the riskiest of all journeys? What risks lie ahead in your college career as you embark on the ''adventure'' of discovering and becoming yourself?

please edit! thanks!

Throughout the years, I have often contemplated what my life might look like in the future. After college, I might have the luxury of living anywhere my heart desires. I might be a lawyer and travel around the world to work with my clients. Or I might even chase my wildest dreams of becoming a guitarist and performing in front of huge crowds in boisterous stadiums. The opportunities are endless, but at the same time, this means that I have absolutely no idea of what and where my life will end up. God has given me so many choices and paths to choose from, but I cannot predict how my life will be until I actually reach that point. That statement is enough to make me feel a little insecure. However, I believe that since God has given me all these options, he is waiting for me to find my true inner self within that one option I so happen to choose. The main thing is that God has already set out a number of paths for me to choose from and he is waiting for me to pick the right one. He has blessed me with a number of important people in my life to help me figure out which way I want to go. On the other hand, he has also chosen a number of important people that will leave my life. Now the question is, how will I attempt to find the path to follow? That is the journey I just have to find out for myself. Through an observation of my past all the way to predicting my future, there are a list of inevitable risks I would have to take along the way to actually figure out who I really am.

The key to life is transitioning from confusion to realization. By being open to trying new things, I have had the chance to explore different paths, testing them out for how well they fit with my personality. For instance, when I was only five years old, my mom encouraged me to take ballet lessons. Needless to say, as someone who was practically born out of the womb as a tomboy, I was not a fan. At the time, I was so confused why she would make me do such a thing. However, I have realized since that time that she was only trying to give me as many options possible so that I could discover my talents and hobbies. While giving me the chance to try such things, it has also given me more confusion than I already had from the start. After going through new activities here and there, my mom finally helped me stumble across a significant discovery at a young age. I never knew I had a hidden talent until I played softball when I was twelve. Within a few months of trying softball, I was able to start playing on a competitive team with the hopes of playing in college.

The main risk of having just one path to follow on, however, is that a dead end could be created at any given moment. In fact, there are many external conflicts that may affect one's journey. In a literary work such as The Odyssey by Homer, Odysseus ventures out on a journey himself. With challenging obstacles such as fighting Poseidon, the god of the sea, Odysseus goes through many tough situations that set him back from his journey home. As for me, my path was detoured because of an uncontrollable drawback. At the beginning of the year, I had to quit my dream of playing travel softball because my dad became unemployed at the time. We could not pay for the tuition and traveling expenses and as a result, I will never know if I had the opportunity to play at the collegiate level on a scholarship. However, that does not stop me from reaching my goal as I will still play for an intramural or club team when I attend college. Just like Odysseus, I have had drawbacks that hindered my progress, but it does not mean I will not reach the finish line.

College is a huge factor that will determine where my future could end up. A major risk that I would eventually encounter in college has to do with friendships and relationships. I may lose friends because of my faiths and values but I cannot let that distract me from my goal. During my Junior year in high school, I lost a key person in my life; my cousin Jocelyn. At the time, that incident tore me apart and I did not know if I could continue with pursuing my dreams. At a time like that, my dreams came to a screeching halt and I simply had no interest in anything. It felt like there was an indestructible roadblock in the way and it would have to take a lot of effort to pass through it. However, I mustered up the courage to break through this obstacle and at the moment of doing so, I realized that I cannot ever change for anyone no matter what.

While in college, I know I will be exposed to many different kinds of pressures that may or may not change who I am. Some pressures include cheating, stealing, and even doing drugs. However, with the values my family has instilled in me, I know I would never take any of those risks because it is morally wrong. Although it may take a long time to actually discover myself, being exposed to some pressures in college will reveal who I really am.

It can be very difficult to discover oneself, but it can also be exciting at the same time. Although there are many risks I have to take to get to the point where I know myself inside and out, I will eventually know that all the ones I have taken were all worth it. Many outside and uncontrollable factors will also affect my journey but I know that no matter which route I end up choosing, God will be there right by my side.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 30, 2009   #2
Hey now, being a guitarist and performing in front of crowds is something you can definitely do -- it just might now pay well! But don't stop practicing!!

Okay, this has lots of good material, and you write very well. The thing to do, though, is refer to that quote and refer to Fr. Lawton. Make this an essay about what he said, because that is what they assigned you to do. All of what you wrote is good, but your topic sentences and conclusions of paragraphs should include some reference to or interpretation of his quote.

In the end, you might try to answer the question of what it mans to "discover oneself." In this essay, and in all your college work, really engage the questions asked of you -- directly, powerfully, clearly. Your experiences described here are great, but try to cut out unnecessary sentences to make room for you to engage the question more directly.


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