May you please correct my essay or give me advise. Thank you!
Sorry if some parts seem awkward I can not seem to think at all for this prompt even though it really is open to creativity. Also should i just start off with just saying dreams of my past instead of describing the garage or does it answer the prompt well already?
Prompt 1: Discuss your favorite place to get lost.
As I stood, silenced settled in the dark damped room. Where was I? Suddenly, a lamp lowered lighting the deteriorated place. A small stage appeared, stationed with three beds and two televisions, fit for a family of five, that was my location. Although some might consider it an unfortunate circumstance, I could not be happier to be lost with an old friend. This gruesome grossed garage was the epitome of glamour in the eyes of my seven year old self and still to this day.
During my childhood I saw past the obvious, this was not a garage, this was my battle fort filled with entertainment and confinement, and I was its commander. While I was not retaliating for a fierce battle against my cousin, I was flicking through channels watching Pokémon and Power Rangers at the same time! Take that TiVo. Furthermore, the garage served as my intellectual sanctuary as I would be confined in it, reading and writing.
What a chance to relive my childhood memories, what a great place to be. I was glad to be left lost here, as it refined myself as I once was. Sweet irony make me your prisoner, a seven-year-old boy was smarter than his predecessor. When I was small, I transfigured a small piece of "trash" into something so aesthetic, when now I pale in comparison.
As I roamed the small room I finally saw the door bleed lukewarm light. I knew I could no longer be lost in the memories of the past so I left. The alarm struck six; I guess I was lost in my dreams once again. Although it was not real, I cherished being lost in the tranquility of my past, since it continues to refine me.
Sorry if some parts seem awkward I can not seem to think at all for this prompt even though it really is open to creativity. Also should i just start off with just saying dreams of my past instead of describing the garage or does it answer the prompt well already?
Prompt 1: Discuss your favorite place to get lost.
As I stood, silenced settled in the dark damped room. Where was I? Suddenly, a lamp lowered lighting the deteriorated place. A small stage appeared, stationed with three beds and two televisions, fit for a family of five, that was my location. Although some might consider it an unfortunate circumstance, I could not be happier to be lost with an old friend. This gruesome grossed garage was the epitome of glamour in the eyes of my seven year old self and still to this day.
During my childhood I saw past the obvious, this was not a garage, this was my battle fort filled with entertainment and confinement, and I was its commander. While I was not retaliating for a fierce battle against my cousin, I was flicking through channels watching Pokémon and Power Rangers at the same time! Take that TiVo. Furthermore, the garage served as my intellectual sanctuary as I would be confined in it, reading and writing.
What a chance to relive my childhood memories, what a great place to be. I was glad to be left lost here, as it refined myself as I once was. Sweet irony make me your prisoner, a seven-year-old boy was smarter than his predecessor. When I was small, I transfigured a small piece of "trash" into something so aesthetic, when now I pale in comparison.
As I roamed the small room I finally saw the door bleed lukewarm light. I knew I could no longer be lost in the memories of the past so I left. The alarm struck six; I guess I was lost in my dreams once again. Although it was not real, I cherished being lost in the tranquility of my past, since it continues to refine me.
