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"Lost in Miami" - common application essay prompt #1 help


xxxman924 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2010   #1
Hey, guys. Could anyone please help me to revise my essay? Or give some suggestions and feedback please ? Thanks a lot .

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Lost in Miami



Stereotype of a Miami trip is about sunshine, beaches and bikinis.
But mine is more unusual. In my Miami I overcame some problems that had been bothering me for years through a journey of finding my lost backpack, which contains all my properties. I used to be the kind of person who complains and run away from obstacles. Because I afraid of failure and the unpleasant feeling that obstacles would bring. But after been through the difficulties in the three days journey, I learned the importance of happiness when dealing with obstacles. That is, always carry a positive attitude no matter what happen. I started to view everything that happened to me using a positive angle. Now I feel a lot more comfortable dealing with hardships. I face them, tackle them, and make them my friends.

How does it feel when you lost everything on you and get stuck in a totally unknown place? I was really afraid and felt helpless. Sitting at the hotel lobby I hesitated to deal with the problem because I could not see how and why should I solve it. Starring at my Nike shoes I reminded my all time favorite slogan - Just do it!" Yeah, why hesitated. Things would not get better if I do not put any efforts to make it changed. Even though the stress and difficulty really depress me still I have to face it and do it because the problem would not be solved by itself. Assuming I left it on the taxi so I asked reception where the taxi base is then ran all the way ten miles there. I came to realize the meaning behind the quote " There ain't no such thing as free lunch. I took my step to approach the obstacles and try to earn my lunch.

Sometimes things just do not go the way you want them to be. Many of cab drivers do not speak English and not so friendly to me. As the time getting late I started to get tired and my willpower was ceasing. "Should I give up"? The constant worry and fear diminished my motivation. I felt like a fool having spent hundreds dollars coming to Miami to find my backpack. I yelled at the sky asking God why he did not see my effort and treat me so unfairly. And that was the moment I met him. Gab, a homeless street friend but also my great mentor.

Right at my first glance on Gab, I could tell there is something special about him. Gab saw me really upset so he asked me what happened. His clothes were shabby and hair was dirty but the dazzling smile on his face stands out distinctly .I poured my heart out telling him everything then he just laughed hard and said it was a piece of cake. He described me how he came to Miami oversea and survived with nothing for thirteen years. All these days he just believes in the happiness of life and over came all the dilemma happened on him. I thought about what Gab said and come up with a conclusion. We still have to run this life even though we are stocked in the hardships, so why not be happy? . One single incident cannot bring us down because life is long and it provides us a lot of chances. I started to view the problem with a different angle. I tried to dig into the problem and find which part of it that was bringing me the fear and depression. I asked myself whether if I am really afraid of it or it just that I assume it was bad at the first place then I started to get afraid of it. And then I found it was actually quite a fun, unique trip that not many people are able to have the chance to experience. It was a gifted from God for me to discover and redefine myself.

So I took my chance. Instead of just sitting there and wait I made a poster and posted it on the bulletin board. I also called the local police station seizing for help. I did not feel angry nor did I feel afraid with those people on the street who were teasing at me or those who gave me attitude when I asked them questions. Instead, I thanked them for bringing more problems. So after I tackle them down I would gain more confident and courage to face the next ones. I responded people's hostility with my passion and vitality. This happy atmosphere soon started to affect the people around me. They would change their attitude and give me friendly helps and suggestions. I felt lot more comfortable when dealing with the problems. I would no longer hesitate to deal with problems nor did I afraid of the trouble cause from problems. All the negative thoughts such as fear, hatred, shame, anger no longer insists in my mind.

Thanks to Gab, I have a new understanding of life, simply happy and worriless. I accepted this obstacle and felt grateful about all the things I have. This dramatic yet valuable experience taught me a great lesson. Positive lifestyle provides us strength and the courage to deal with the obstacles. Not only can we tackle them down we can also make them our friends. Whenever I've in trouble or have to face any obstacles I reminded myself the dazzling smile of Gab and his courageous spirit.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 26, 2010   #2
I used to be the kind of person who complains and run runs away from obstacles. I ran because I was afraid of failure and the unpleasant feeling that obstacles would bring.

But after been being through the difficulties in the three days journey, I learned the importance of ...

Starring Staring at my Nike shoes I reminded me of my all time favorite slogan - Just do it!" Yeah, why hesitated hesitate?

Things would will not get better if I do not put any effort into making a change.

Right at when I first glanced at Gab, I could tell there is was something special about him.

I like this sentence: It was a gifted gift from God for me to discover and redefine myself.

Whenever I'm in trouble or have to face any obstacles I reminded remind myself the dazzling smile of Gab and his courageous spirit.

Practice every sentence above 10 times. Practice typing each 10 times, and you will get the habit of good grammar.

:-)


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