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This is what I love in Cornell University. Undergraduate CALS motivation essay



TVLAERE 9 / 21  
Dec 30, 2016   #1
Why are you drawn to studying the major you have selected? Please discuss how your interests and related experiences have influenced your choice. Specifically, how will an education from the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (CALS) and Cornell University help you achieve your academic goals? (Please limit your response to 650 words.)

Some advice about the content? Please let me know if there are any grammar- punctuation issues (English isn't my mother tongue :D)

what i love in cornell



This must be my favorite spot on campus. Just being able to stand here on top of the McGraw tower and have this breath-taking view is one of those little things that makes me fall in love with this place every single day. This is only my first semester at Cornell, but from the minute I set foot on this campus I felt at home. I grew up on the countryside surrounded by farms where my brother and I would take apples from farmers and sell them to our neighbors. We were still very young and we loved exploring that bubble we were living in. This changed drastically when my father moved to Antwerp to start his business, but it's that rural environment here that brings me right back to the countryside.

The biggest difference must be that Cornell is a place that bursts that bubble intellectually. I am majoring in AEM and concentrating in strategy. I took my first Strategic Thinking course yesterday; it is amazing to experience how professor Chau doesn't just teach us facts and figures, but rather teaches us how and why. I am even taking the Judging The Jury course in the law school where we have to find creative ways to increase the response to jury qualification questionnaires and jury summons in New York. Being able to think creatively and trying to come up with solutions for a real world problem is typical for all courses here at Cornell. Our professors are enabling us to impact the destination we choose after graduating and it's that teaching philosophy that inspires me constantly.

For me, that destination will be law school. When my father told me that he was thinking about stopping with his business and how hard it was for him financially, I realized that many entrepreneurs are having these issues. At that moment, I knew that I wanted to help these people by solving their difficulties. I immediately joined the consulting club and I am having unique hands-on experiences where I get to work in teams and solve challenging business problems. I am also involved in the Mock Trial Team and the Business Law Society. The combination of my courses and my extracurricular involvement is an amazing way to develop professionally and socially.

I a meeting a lot of people through the activities here at Cornell. Actually, the whole campus is filled with a wonderful student body. A few hours ago, I was having lunch at Risley Dining. Besides the delicious food (and the fact that there is a Harry Potter-themed dinner each spring), it is amazing to have conversations with the most interesting people. I just talked to an Art History major at the CAS. The discussion we had was so interesting that I am going to take a few courses there next semester and we even planned to go to the Johnson Museum tomorrow. The any person, any study mission of this school is creating an incredible community in which I am learning not only from my courses, but also from the people around me.

Cornell is enlarging my view on the world through its academics and diversity, but it's also allowing me to impact that world through these exact same things. I always knew that this was the ideal place for me. The office hours with the most intriguing professors, the diversity, the clubs I'm in, and even the walks in the botanical garden, these are all moments with great value. That value that is created by my experience here at Cornell is something that I hope to use to help people with great ideas, but who are struggling with the execution. Being a Cornellian isn't just about achieving my dreams, it's about achieving the dreams of many other people as well.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Dec 30, 2016   #2
Tim, I am a bit confused about the essay that you have written. If you are already attending Cornell then there is no need for you to be writing this essay. I know that you are aiming for a future projection type of essay but this is not the way to do it. Mainly because you have not spent any actual time as a Cornell student and therefore, you are not qualified to be making the claims that you made in this essay. It would be best if you did not approach the essay from this current stand point. Use a future looking voice. That means you should speak with a tone of expectation and excitement. Not one of a student already enjoying the university. In this current version of your essay, when you start talking about your father, it becomes a prompt deviation instead of a part of the prompt discussion. That is because the essay already depicts you as currently attending the university. In which case, the story about your father becomes out of place. It is my opinion that you should review the essay and change the discussion tone and point of view to be more prompt adherent.


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