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My low vision has made things more difficult: UCF Undergraduate Essay



lukelambert 1 / 1  
Dec 9, 2012   #1
Endless Possibilities: University of Central Florida

1. If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.

An obstacle that is present in my life is having been born legally blind. I was born with a condition known as congenital nystagmus, an involuntary shaking of the eyes. This makes it difficult for me to see and read things in the distance and also leaves me with limited peripheral vision. My low vision has always seemed to make things more difficult, especially schoolwork, having grown more arduous over the years. However, this has not thwarted me from challenging myself academically. I will have taken five Advanced Placement courses and three AICE courses by the end of this year. My low vision causes me to work much more slowly than others, but it also makes me able to retain much of what I learn well with much coherence, due to high amounts of focus necessary. I have made great strides when it comes to my vision. Until recently, I was unable to retain a driver's license; I now hold a learner's permit restricted to daytime driving, and hope for my eyes to improve enough to be able to drive at night. I wouldn't say that my low vision is a hindrance, because I've come to realize that I'm able to do a lot of things that other people have the opportunity to do. Everybody has something getting in the way of what they want to do, but it's how they deal with it that makes the difference.

3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

In my search for a college that will benefit me the most and is inclined in helping its students actually learn and feed their inquisitive hunger instead of solely preparing them for the next chapters of their life, UCF has called out to me the loudest. I am interested in the Burnett Honors College, having grown up attending a small private Montessori school from first through the eighth grade. The city of Orlando also appeals to me, not being too far from home, but far enough to branch out and fulfill a sense of discovery that I have been longingly searching for. The beautiful campus and living conditions would also give me a sense of comfort within my surroundings. I've grown up as an observer, seeing around me many precocious people and many without much direction and I seem to find myself somewhere in the middle. I feel UCF is the perfect school to keep me on track and will benefit me educationally as well as socially, mentally, and developmentally and ultimately help me strive towards the life I want to live. UCF's many opportunities to be involved with the community such as internships and other services also speaks to me, in that there will be many things to keep me busy and productive. After looking at many colleges, it has become a fruition to go to UCF if granted the honor of acceptance.

Any help, revisions, or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

mannyalesh - / 8  
Dec 9, 2012   #2
In the first essay, try to make a stronger point on why it is so difficult to do your work. Maybe give an example something specific that you really struggle to do. I think this will help the reader have a better connection with you and your writing.
OP lukelambert 1 / 1  
Dec 10, 2012   #3
Ok thanks, any revisions? How should I divide the essay? Into paragraphs? Leave it as is?
mannyalesh - / 8  
Dec 10, 2012   #4
thumbs up?
I think the structure works how it is. Grammatically, it seems fine to me.


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