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Loyola Marymount Supplement - The primary purpose of education

sweetsenior 4 / 7 2  
Jan 16, 2017   #1
Guys, this is urgent, due in2 hours!! Any help will be much appreciated!! Here is the prompt and essay:

Prompt 3
A motto often associated with Jesuit and Marymount schools is ''Educating men and women for others.'' Fr. Pedro Arrupe, the former head of the Jesuits, once said that ''our prime educational objective must be to form men and women for others, who believe that a love of self or of God which does not issue forth in justice for the least of their neighbors is a farce.''

Prompt 3 question:
What do you think Fr. Arrupe meant when he said this? Please give an example of someone you know, other than your teachers and parents, who works for justice for the least of their neighbors.


We don't live in an age where everyone has to hunt fish all day to ensure that they stay alive. We don't have to stay inside a protected cave in order to be safe. We don't live in an age where no one has enough time to offer care to the world outside of themselves. Thousands of years have passed since then, and the fish we had to hunt became our goals, caves we had to hide in became our comfort zones. The only difference is that we now have time and opportunities to reach out to the less fortunate part of the society, or as Father Arrupe put it, "the least of our neighbors."

But still, it's easy to encounter occasions where people's actions are driven not by a global cause, but by a mere desire to obtain personal gain. Maybe it's the result of ungratefulness that makes people regret ever trying to help anyone, or maybe they simply don't care about other people; either way, the behavior eliminates kindness and compassion, leaving behind a world that's lonesome and a society that no one feels belonged to. Ironically, in the resulting society where there is no room for love and consideration, everyone is impacted negatively. Simply put: People need each other, even for their own benefit.

Fortunately, not everyone is blinded by selfishness, and there are people who are able to see beyond their private profit and take action to serve the social justice. One of the first examples that comes to my mind is the psychologist Sündüz Atay, my mother's colleague. In her free time, using her knowledge and abilities, she helps post-traumatic people recover -as a volunteer at the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Programs. When asked about why she does such a generous act, she states that she sees it as her responsibility: after all, the people she helps don't have the education, information and talent that she has, and they cannot afford professional help after an incident. She finds it ethically incorrect to be indifferent to these people -the least of her neighbors.

In his quote, Father Arrupe does not say that loving oneself is wrong. He says that isolating yourself from the world to solely focus on your own needs and desires is a farce, and that the prime educational objective of Jesuits must be to form people who work for the bigger picture and have a greater purpose. Fr. Arrupe's definition of "men and women who believe that a love of self or of God which does not issue forth in justice for the least of their neighbors is a farce" refers directly to people like Sündüz. She is an educated individual that has love of both self and God, but she does not limit this love within herself and reaches out to the society. I see her as a great inspiration, because her and I share a common belief: ignoring people who have conditions of life less favorable than ours and simply concentrating on our own benefit is a threat against social justice; and the distortion of social justice affects all of us.

In the modern world, all we have is each other. The money, the reputation or anything we might work hard to gain does not mean anything in the absence of other people. That means to use our minds and to be able to see beyond our self-seeking needs and desires is the most important asset to have as a 21st century human being. However, not only this asset is frowned upon, the rare population of selfless people are crushed under tyrants that have a higher social standing. What I believe is that even under these conditions, we, the select few, should take on the duty to break this chain and pass our ideas onward. I believe that this motivation should be education's primary purpose as it is with Jesuits; for selfishness has always been the underlying cause of any problem in the world.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jan 17, 2017   #2
Selin, I think it was quite unfortunate for me to be late in helping you with your essay. Yet, the first thing that you should underline here is that your essay is NOT in the URGENT section, so we cannot reply it immediately. A regular essay thread can only have answer in an unpredictable time. Sometimes it might be really fast, but sometimes is not. This is why you need to bear in mind for the next post. The next 'regular' essay thread that you are going to post should be at least posted in 2-3 days before the due date / deadline.

However, since this is an expired essay, I would like to give my general feedback related to your content of this essay. I might say that your answer is still acceptable under some conditions. There are two major points that should be described/elaborated in this kind of essay. The first one is that "Fr. Arrupe's meant" and the second one is that a clear example of someone, except teachers/parents, who works for justice for the least of their neighbors.

For the first answer, you have clearly explained everything since the beginning until the end of the essay. I reckon there is no serious problem with that. Perhaps, your grammatical range and accuracy is quite distracting the reader to read your essay. Nevertheless, the thing that is quite problematical is the second point. You only explain 'Sunduz' in only a half paragraph. The portion is imbalance. If you write 5 paragraphs like that, I am sure that explaining the example should be at least in two paragraphs. This is what you should revise later on (if you still have time).
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,941 4806  
Jan 17, 2017   #3
Selin, like Ichan said, you have to get your essays into the Urgent thread if you have a short turn around time for the essay editing. Just inform the moderators of your need to place an urgent essay and they will assist you in gaining the attention of the contributors within the time frame you have indicated. The regular threads are served up advice on a first come first serve basis.

Your second paragraph could have made a stronger concluding statement for your essay. It should have been interchanged with the current concluding statement that would have made the perfect opening statement in this case. The current opening statement just spun its wheels without going anywhere in terms of helping your essay improve in content. Its removal would have been of a great benefit to your essay.

Overall, the essay is good. However, the reference to Sunduz Atay would have been presented in a better light if you had made the information sound like you got it first hand from interacting with the person (as implied by the prompt) rather than having the information depicted in the current third person form. When information comes from the experience of other people in interacting with someone, it does not carry the same informative punch as you saying "When I had the chance to speak with..." or "During a chance meeting with..."

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