Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Don't make up more trash - Math COMMON APP



azuuu 1 / -  
Oct 18, 2024   #1
review my essay and u can be brutally honest. Also, tell me what to improve.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

DIY
"Don't make up more trash", says my mother as she entered my room, looking at the pieces of paper lying on the floor. This used to happen almost every day when I was young. The things I used to do might seem like a bunch of trash made out of random stuff, but to me, I felt like an engineer who came up with a whole new invention, even though it wasn't.
My curiosity about problem-solving started when my parents and relatives gave me toys every Lunar New Year during my childhood, and the toys in question were jigsaws. No matter how many times I solved it, I would always find a way to start over and over; starting with the edge, assembling from the behind, and solving it from inside out. Years had passed, 8 when I first laid my eyes on Rubik's cubes. Even though there was no one to teach me how to solve all 6 sides, working through only one color felt like my first intellectual milestone.
When I was introduced to the computer, all can 9 years old can do was to watch YouTube. Exploring through countless videos, the "kid who loves puzzles" instantly falls into Origami videos. Beyond the flatness of paper, from things as simple as flowers to complex creations like origami tessellations. Bringing my art to my class and all the kids thought I was a master of origami as I taught them to do one. Might explain my love for mathematics, this crease of paper was not only art, it was also mathematics that I didn't even realize. The skills I've learned from my hobbies weren't just limited to personal interests; they also helped me to compete in several IQ and Math competitions throughout elementary and middle school.
As I got into middle school, my curiosity expanded beyond math. I became particularly fascinated by physics and its ability to answer a question I had always wondered: How do things work? The phenomena we see daily suddenly had logical explanations grounded in principles I could understand and calculate. Physics turned the world into a puzzle I could solve, the satisfaction I felt after applying physics to solve problems was akin to the joy of solving my first Rubik's cube-it was challenging but deeply rewarding.
However, I quickly ran into a significant problem. While my curiosity for physics grew, the resources available to me did not. In my last year of middle school, due to the teacher shortage in my school, I found myself in a big class and a few others that couldn't even fill up 10 seats. I was frustrated, not sure what to do, and slowly, the frustration turned into something else-ownership. Sat down with confusion until it unraveled into clarity. Ironically, things were still the same- no teacher, but over the years, I was able to study on my own.
When it came time to choose my career path, the decision felt natural. Engineering was a field where I could apply both my mathematical and physical problem-solving skills. But what field?
I found myself endlessly researching, unsure of what direction to take. Then, one day, I stumbled across an article that reignited a long-lost passion-Origami. It described how computer engineers were using principles of origami in technology, designing folding solar panels for space exploration and creating flexible electronics. The concept fascinated me, and That article inspired me to dive deeper into computer engineering, I knew that this was the field I wanted to pursue.
Looking back, I realize that all of my childhood hobbies-the puzzles, the Rubik's cube, and even the pieces of paper my mother thought were trash-were stepping stones that led me here. What once seemed like random play was the foundation of my intellectual curiosity and problem-solving skills. I wasn't just making a mess; I was building the tools I would need for a future in engineering. In my way, I've always been an engineer, and now I'm ready to turn that childhood dream into a reality.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15383  
Oct 18, 2024   #2
I believe that you are trying to discuss the evolution and development of your interest in the Math and Science field right? It is evident from the activities that you were discussing as having engaged in while you were a child. There is a problem with the time frame of your presentation though. It has to be spoken of in the past tense of the events, not the present. You are going to have to go back and rephrase all of the paragraphs relating to your childhood activities. Basically, edit the presentation for grammatical purposes so that the reviewer will not be confused by your presentation. You might also want to consider bringing up the closing paragraphs to the start of the essay because those are far more interesting as opening references than a dialogue from your mother. Try to introduce the full basis of the essay from the very start. Your mother's dialogue can be placed in a later section of the narrative. It does not read right to have that scenario at the beginning of the essay. Reframe it for later usage.


Home / Undergraduate / Don't make up more trash - Math COMMON APP
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳