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'making it in the city of LA' - UC Prompt


edulgn 1 / 1  
Nov 26, 2012   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

It's been two years since I was entering through the crowded entrance of the airport. The tears I've held around my family and friends came out as I entered the boarding area. This was me, a sixteen year old high school graduate, going away from my comfort zone to create my own journey.

Week after coming to the US, I was thrilled about the opportunity to see the famous LA landmarks that I have been seeing obsessively over the internet. My first destination was the Griffith Park, where I could see the entire fabulous city that I'm living. As I was hiking to the top I became friends with another hiker, telling stories about ourselves and he gave me helpful advices on how to make it in the city of LA. On the top there was the magnificent city of Los Angeles during its most beautiful moment: the sunset. I was overwhelmed by its beauty and its size that I imagined "this is where my journey of building my life by myself starts". I stayed until it was dark, the moving light making the city livelier. But I was enjoying the view too much that I forget a way back to my bus stop. There was a sudden urge to panic but thankfully my new friend offered me to help to find my way back. A week later I went to the Santa Monica beach, seeing that vast body of water so calm and composed, mirroring the sunset was one of the most relaxing sight I had ever seen. On my way back I was lost again. Much like the sea I kept my composure and found a way back home. Throughout the year it became my hobby to visit new place and get lost. I enjoyed the thrill of being lost, meeting new people and getting accustomed to the area.

Similar to getting lost physically I often was mentally lost. Being away from my comfort zone hasn't always been a smooth sailing. The everyday responsibilities, challenges, stress and loneliness of living alone often made me question my efforts, my goals. Much like each time I was able to find my way back I was able to keep on track with sustained efforts toward my goal. Each new challenges presented new problems that required me to approach from different perspective, demanding me to be flexible to intense situations. Prevailing through academic or emotional strain, I learned more about myself in the one year period of living alone than from my entire existence. Every new challenge reminded me that my journey wasn't a straight line but rather a curvy road with amazements and opportunity in every corner. Experiences of living alone at young age allowed me to establish confidence in my capabilities to deal with real life challenges and overcoming stressful academic times allowed me to mature as a student and person.

Does it answer the question correctly?
Pls tell me what do you think about the essay and check for any grammar errors, fraction etc
feel free to comment and change the wording to make it more specific

dumi 1 / 6,948 1592  
Nov 26, 2012   #2
The tears I've heldsuppressed for a whilearound my family and friends came outbegan to roll over my cheeks as I entered the boarding area.

This was me, a sixteen year old high school graduate, going away fromleavingmy loved ones and the comfort zone to create my owna new journey on my own.
OP edulgn 1 / 1  
Nov 26, 2012   #3
Thank You Dumi, appreciate your comments

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