"it's the mark of a great player to be confident in tough situations" college essay

In 250 words or less, provide an example of when your point of view differed
from a teacher or employer during an evaluation of your performance. How did you
handle the situation

What would you do if you got in a situation where you could lose your calm? I got my first job at 11th grade as an elementary teacher assistant. I was called in by my supervisor for performance review. She was pretty calm at first, and said a lot of positive things about me.

Things changed when she started talking about how I couldn't keep the kids in silence during snack-time. I was really angry because snack time was perhaps the only time these kids could communicate with each other. I told her "Mrs. Murray I did ask them to lower their pitch, but not to be in complete silence. After all isn't this program suppose to be fun." She got mad, and started saying, 'I should never had hired irresponsible students' I had an option to just yell back at her, but I choose to be polite. We often get indulge in our daily jobs that we forget to step a side and be ourselves. I told her that since these kids were in school all day, and on top of that they stay back for this program we had to give them some freedom. I asked her a question "How can you tell a small child to be quiet, you see the excited in their eyes when they come through those doors." She stepped a side, and started laughing. The moment I saw her laugh I felt like there was peace again. She apologized for her behaviour, but I instead thanked her for putting me in a situation I could teach someone something.

Finally, I wish to add quote by McEnroe that reflects the truth about my journey, "I think it's the mark of a great player to be confident in tough situations."

I like this story, but some readers might think it is distasteful to tell your side of the story and explain it as though you were totally right and the more experienced teacher was wrong. This story leaves the reader thinking that you probably are not telling the whole story. Did she really get angry when you contradicted her? It seems like some event is not being told.

You used 'calm' twice in the first paragraph, and I think you should use a different word the second time because it is a little confusing. Have you ever been in a situation where you lost your calm?' This makes the reader think you are talking about your own calm. But at the end of that paragraph you are talking about her being calm at first, before getting angry. Maybe you can do this:

She was pretty calm friendly at first, and said a lot of positive things about me.

aside -- One word. Not this: a side
Do it like this: Step aside

She apologized for her behaviour, but I instead thanked her for putting me in a situation I could teach someone something.--- instead of what? I know what you mean, but 'instead' does not belong in this sentence unless you make a change:

She apologized for her behaviour, but instead of focusing on the apology I thanked her for putting me in a situation I could teach someone something.

: )