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MassArt -- why i want to attend, my love for art, and how i came to this passion



kellyartist1017 1 / 4  
Nov 22, 2009   #1
A park bench is merely a place to sit to most. As I pass the same bench, I see its unique colors, shapes and character. My mind wonders as to what medium would best reveal its texture or how I would angle my camera to capture its essence. Growing up, I have learned to appreciate the visual arts. The more I become aware of my surroundings and the further I develop my artistic skills, I see how anything, like a simple park bench, can be an inspiration.

As I was entering high school, I was eager to study in a more intense artistic atmosphere. I remember as a freshman, I was amazed at the seniors' abilities and their work and I became very anxious and excited to take the classes offered by my school. Through the years, I have been open to grasping new techniques and receiving constructive criticism, all the while wanting my art work to be insightful and the finest it could possibly be. I have learned many skills, that not only have I honed in on my artistic abilities, but has helped me improve myself and who I am today. I now appreciate who I am and what I have to offer, while becoming a more responsible individual while taking a stronger leadership role in my personal and professional activities.

My high school, Norwich Free Academy, is known for its collegiate-level art program and in the past four years, I have taken seventeen semesters' worth of art instruction. I'm dedicated to my profession and I look forward to my college experience. I love to toil with different mediums and attempt creative means to express myself through art. I know with hard work and thoughtful consideration to my abilities I will thrive and grow to my fullest potential. Even when a medium doesn't always come naturally to me, I'm willing to undertake the challenge and always do my best

I want to attend Massachusetts School of Art for a number of reasons. I have had the opportunity to visit several art universities and colleges in the past year and Mass Art offers me everything that I am looking for, not only for a superior education in art, but also for growing myself as an individual as well. At this point in my art career, I'm unsure of which medium I prefer or which major I will pursue. Mass Art's Foundation Year gives me the opportunity to experiment in a variety of techniques and medias and to further explore my interests without making a commitment my freshman year.

Further, I love Boston and everything the city has to offer. The people are warm and diverse and the city is full of life, filled with character and history without that cold, big city feel. By attending your school, I will be in the center of the art community which will give me the best education in the most supportive, creative environment, all while growing myself to my fullest potential as a person.

amaryrose 2 / 14  
Nov 23, 2009   #2
I think it is looking good.

A few small issues.

First: declaration. You don't need to say "I want to attend Massachusetts School of Art for a number of reasons." It attends an extra sentence and extra words without saying anything.

Second: some of your sentences and word choice suffer from redundancy. Have you tried reading your essay aloud? I know it seems silly, but that's how I smoothed out most of my errors. It can really help honing the voice of your essay. (remember to pause at all the commas to make sure they make sense)

"My high school, Norwich Free Academy, is known for its collegiate-level art program; in the past four years, I have taken seventeen semesters' worth of art instruction." -- bit of grammar : )

And I am not sure the description of Boston is particularly necessary for your essay. It doesn't exactly detract, but it doesn't exactly add anything either. It may be important to you, but I think it is one point to many for this essay about art and your passion.

I really like your viewpoint of finding inspiration in small things, its so sweet.


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