'Massive and spotless house' - UC Personal statement prompt

-Before the sun rises, every Saturday and Sunday morning I drag myself out of bed and get ready for another day of work with my mother. Together we scurry around the house before 7 a.m. and head forth to the car where we await a 50 minute drive until our destination. My mother speaks very little English, so I am both her translator and personal assistant during those two days. She works during the week at a local preschool location in our community, but in order to keep up with expenses both she and I drive out 50 miles to babysit and clean for a little extra money. Sometimes the simplest sacrifices can lead to most influential lessons in life and I continue to commit to assisting my family when things get tough.

While my mother leaves the massive house practically spotless, I am held accountable for a set of twins that are 18 months old and their younger sister that is only about 3 months old. I begin my routine by preparing each child's breakfast and bottle of milk precisely warmed up to 20 seconds no more or less. After they fed, it is time to change diapers and spend time interacting with them with either games or toys in the playpen. When dealing with these kids I have to quickly transition from being a responsible caretaker to a buddy that will be able to play hide and seek with them around the couch. It is rewarding to see their smiles each and every weekend but by the end of the day like any job, it is extremely tiring.

However being able to experience the work ethic of my mother, I have been shaped into a more capable individual that will not only get the job done, but will go beyond expectations. I now see the importance of doing a job well done not only for the gratification of the boss but also for self-satisfaction in knowing I was successful in what I was doing. Knowing how my parents have to struggle through life and still how much pride they take into each and every task motivates me to doing exactly the same in whatever I do. This mindset was embedded in me since the day I realized how dedication and effort leads to greatness.

These experiences also taught me how to be more responsible because I am not only in charge of myself during those moments, but in charge of three other individuals that need more attention than the usual. I am now able prioritize my responsibilities more efficiently throughout my lifetime in both my labor and transition these lessons into my academics.

You have a lot of great thoughts here. The content is good but you need to be careful about writing long wordy sentence. It is better to have simple short simple sentences than a complex long one. I hope these corrections can help. Also please look at the last few sentences of your second paragraph. It seems like you are trying thought for one sentence. Also if you can read it aloud. That is also a great tip, because the ear catches a lot of mistakes.

Before the sun rises,E very Saturday and Sunday morningweekend before the sun rises, I drag myself out of bed and get ready for another day of work with my mother. Together we scurry around the house before 7 a.m. and then state a time when you head out to the carat blank time we head forth to the car where we await a 50 minute drive we finally arrive at work.until our destination . My mother speaks very little English, so I am both her translator and personal assistant duringweekendthose two days . She worksD uring the week, she works at a local preschool location in our community, but in order to keep up with expenses weboth she and I drive out 50 miles to babysit and clean for a little extra money. Sometimes the simplest sacrifices can lead to most influential life lessonslessons in life and I continue to commit to assisting my family when things get tough.I would reword that sentence.

While my mother leaves the massive house practically spotless, I am held accountable for a set of twins that are 18 months old and their younger sister that is only about 3 months old ( Please consider rewording this sentence. It's a little bit wordy. . I begin my routine by preparing each child's breakfast and bottle of milk precisely warmed up to 20 seconds no more or less. After they are fed, it is time to change their diapers and spend time interacting with them with either games or toys in the playpen. When dealing with these kidsthe children I have to quickly transition from being a responsible caretaker to a buddy that will be able to play hide and seek with them around the couch.Although It is rewarding to see their smiles each and every weekend but byat the end of the day, like any job, it is extremely tiring.

However, seeing my mother's work ethic first hand, has shaped me into a more capable human being. In that, I now possess the dedication to not only accomplish the task at hand but excel at it.

However being able to experience the work ethic of my mother, I have been shaped into a more capable individual that will not only get the job done, but will go beyond expectations. I now see the importance of doing a job well done not only for the gratification (word choice?) of the boss but also for self-satisfaction in knowing I was successful in what I was doing. Knowing how my parents have to struggle through life and still how much pride they take into each and every task motivates me to doing exactly the same in whatever I do. This mindset was embedded in me since the day I realized how dedication and effort leads to greatness.

These experiences also taught me how to be more responsible because I am not only in charge of myself during those moments, but in charge of three other individuals that need more attention than the usual. I am now able prioritize my responsibilities more efficiently throughout my lifetime in both my labor and transition these lessons into my academics.

thank you for the great feedback. Really appreciate it :)