Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Not math, literature, chemistry, physics, and history - just art, music, and drama for kids



boston9 1 / -  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
Education is essential part of our life. We get our basic education in school; from there we learn the most important things. There is math, literature, chemistry, physics, and history and so on in every school. In my opinion there are other important subjects, which school should give. It is art, music and drama.

At first, I think every person needs information about them, because they are play big role in our everyday life. It is very good if people know about the most famous painters, musicians and other artists. In this way they always can take part in different discussions, if they need it. They will easier understand new trends in these spheres, because they have already knew beginning of them. People with these subjects will feel more comfortable in society.

Secondly, I believe that these subjects in school can help find talents in children early. If they learn it in school from first years, they easier can understand what they like most and what can make best. They can try themselves in every part of art and find what they need. It is obvious that it will be much better to find talent early and start deeply learn it.

And finally, in my opinion, these subjects are really very interesting. In school we have a lot of scientific subjects, which need calculating, writing and so on. But these subjects connect with our soul not only with brain. We can discuss interesting people, there work on these classes. I think schooldays need diversity like these.

Summarize all these; we can see that art, music and drama should be part of every child basic education. It will bring only benefits in child future life, and school days will be more interesting with them.

esthershin 2 / 2  
Oct 28, 2012   #2
Your sentences are not varied at all. And your vocabulary as well. The essay overall sounds very flat and lifeless. Try to add some kind of voice.

I edited the first paragraph to show you a little about what I mean

Education is an essential part of our life. We get our Basic education is offered in school; from which we are supposedly are taughtlearn the "most important subjects ". This often includes math, literature, chemistry, physics, and history and so on. In my opinion art, music, and drama are equally important subjects that schools should readily provide.there are other important subjects, which school should give. It is art, music and drama.

Hope this helps! (:


Home / Undergraduate / Not math, literature, chemistry, physics, and history - just art, music, and drama for kids
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳