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My maturity was promptly tested at the age of twelve; Autobiographical E/Columbia GS



x6karebear9o 3 / 7  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
Individuals are a reflection of the lessons that life's unique experiences have imprinted upon us. In order to truly get to understand someone and reveal who they are, it is important to know the experiences that have shaped their lives. The following experiences, amongst many others, have defined who I am today. I take great pride in my life's story and I will try my best to do justice to the glimpse you are about to receive.

My father and his eight siblings grew up on a penniless farm with my grandfather's leather belt as their only form of education. My mother was the product of her parent's manual labor and aspired to be the first child in her family to go to college. Their encounter was accidental and I was their irreversible mistake. She dropped out of school to become a twenty-year-old mother and I inherited her dreams of going to college. She was determined to prove her mishap was really a second chance.

My mother, father, younger brother, and I immigrated when I was five years old. I quickly picked up English and excelled in school, while my brother lagged behind. He was diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome, which is something that was unheard of at the time in my country. Fear of having my brother confined to a mental institution and joy in seeing me take on the American Dream were the determining factors for my parent's decision to overstay our visas. My father drained his health doing the jobs no one else wanted. My parent's inability to speak English made me the official translator in all affairs. At only seven years old, I was proud of being responsible for scheduling doctors appointments, making business calls, negotiating with clients, dealing with the landlord, and most other tasks parents are suppose to do.

My maturity was promptly tested at the age of twelve. I become a mother and my mother became my father. She was pregnant and my father wanted to move back to Colombia. My mother had to make a choice. Either move back to the comfort of her home and the support of her family or take the risk of raising three children on her own in order for them to pursue the opportunities she only dreamed of and knew were only available in this country. Once again, she committed the selfless act of sacrificing her life for ours. Listening to my mom's muffled crying when she thought I wasn't was the motivation I needed for resilience to kick in. I was determined to go beyond everyone's expectations and prove to my mother that all her suffering paid off. More importantly, I wanted to be the pillar she could lean on. I started making my own breakfast, packing my own lunch, and preparing dinner before she got home. Having proved that I was responsible enough to take care of myself, she felt I was ready to raise a child. I was devastated, like most twelve year olds would have been. It didn't seem fair that my increased maturity was rewarded with greater responsibilities. Every morning I would jump out of bed to feverishly look for her and all I would find were a set of instructions for the day. Every night I would battle against my eyelids waiting for her to come home, but I always lost. Sometimes, I questioned her existence.

I used the negative energy to push my potentials because I wanted to be stronger for my family. Suddenly, having the best grades in school wasn't enough. I wanted to be the leader of every club and do all the after school activities available. Since I knew what I wanted to be from an early age, I felt wiser and older in comparison to my classmates. Frankly, their ordinary lives were unpalatable for my taste, they couldn't understand my motives, nor did they possess my sense of purpose.

I took refuge in being a mother for my sister. Kaylee slowly consumed my life so much that her needs became more important than my own. From the moment I got on the bus in the morning I would countdown the hours before I could pick her up from our neighbor's house. I quickly fell into a routine consumed by schoolwork and housework, but that didn't matter because I took pride in my adult responsibilities.

It was my last year of middle school when my mom had finally convinced me to move back and finish the rest of my schooling in Colombia. When I told my teachers this plan they immediately advised that I apply to the local private high school due to my academic excellence thus far. Tuition of over $30,000 per year was unfathomable, but applying was free and I had an uncontrollable curiosity. My mom agreed that if I got in and was awarded enough financial aid I could finish my schooling at the Ross School. A scholarship with over 85% of the expenses paid for was an offer we couldn't reject. The Ross School Spiral Curriculum is a holistic approach to learning that emphasizes integration in order to provide a complete perspective and greater understanding of the shifts in consciousness that have shaped today's world. Students are challenged to learn outside of the classroom through independent projects that require a thorough understanding of the cultural revolutions that took place. The goal of cultivating multiple intelligences is achieving by having interdisciplinary core subject. The teachers must create educational continuity and provide opportunities to explore every aspect of the global mentality of the time. The purpose of M-term is for students to gain a global perspective of the learning process through first-hand experiences. This innovative model of global education manipulates various mediums to immerse students physically, mentally, and emotionally. Ross School students acquire a higher level of conscious because they understand the importance and the roles all subjects have played in shaping history. The appreciation for this enlightening model of education radiates in the accomplishments of the Ross School Alumni.

I got a part-time job to help pay for my high school because I hated the idea of furthering my mom's financial burden. High school, work, and a baby soon became too much for me to deal with all at once. The teenager in me screamed for friends and a social life. I secretly desired the carefree life of a child, but the idea of having fun while my mom worked invoked feelings of guilt. Being surrounded by wealthy families and indulgent parents made me want a mom who would come to my soccer games, make me dinner, and let me go out with friends. After multiple identity crises and cries for help, my mom starting spending more time at home. Her mothering skills were rusty, but her love was the powerful jolt I need to illuminate my path.

I was halfway through my sophomore year when the U.S. Department of Homeland Security detained me on a school trip to the Virgin Islands. My heart sank with shame and my spirit drowned in humiliation as the officers pulled me away from my classmates and stated that I would not be flying back. Anger boiled inside of me and I screamed that it wasn't my fault. Between bursts of tears, I begged for my mom even though I knew she couldn't help me. Being handled like a criminal in a place I call home was unjust and felt like betrayal. After hours of waiting, I was finally allowed to fly back with a pending order of deportation. The confused look on my classmate's faces, the disgust in some of my teacher's glares, and the immigration officer's penetrating eyes overpowered my entire being. The fear of being treated like I carried a deadly illness made me want to act like the criminal I legally was and run away. I was never a good runner, but I did know how walk with my head held high even when it was too heavy to carry. I would flaunt my illegal status and I would challenge anyone who believed I didn't have just as much of a right to be here as anyone else. My mission was clear. I would prove that being an illegal immigrant is not a disease, but a mere handicap so to speak. I did not have the same advantages and the playing field was skewed, so I would have to work harder than to rest in order to succeed. This newfound confidence and purpose projected itself in every task I undertook. I used my savings to attend several National Student Leadership Conferences in Washington, D.C, and Louisiana. I worked with the National Relief Network to rebuild homes for those devastated by Hurricane Katrina. I founded the Ross School chapter of Amnesty International, was president of the Environmental Club, and actively participated in several sports teams. My leisure time was consumed by taking care of foster children. The relationship I had with my sister inspired some of her teachers and it was through them that I was introduced to the foster care system. These children were hopeless and longed for purpose in their lives. I wanted to be the source of love and inspiration they needed to turn their disturbing stories into miraculous comebacks. They taught me to always keep in touch with my inner child and never stop dreaming.

In order to complete the Ross School Senior Project, a student must embody their passions by integrating such Ross principles as multiple intelligences, cultural and historical context, technology, and the pursuit of excellence. Its purpose is to give the students a deeper insight into themselves in a global context. Two other girls and I decided to live off the land with nothing but the seeds in our soil and the fruit of our labor for one month. I was infatuated with the idea of living in nature. This project tested and pushed me in ways that forced me to strip down to the essence of my being and discover truths about life and myself that I will never forget. Most importantly, I learned what it means to be alive and human.

The idea was simple: plant a garden for food and bartering, get some chickens for eggs and goats for milk, create pens for the livestock, build a platform tent for shelter, and avoid modern societies advances. The sun would be our dictator in our search for perfect harmony between the environment and humanity. On top of living, I had to photograph, video, and document my daily accounts and reflections. My final product was ultimately defined by the experience. What I thought would be a scientific journal on my interpretation of animal behavior, the sounds of nature, and effective environmental sustainability turned into publishing a detailed and very personal memoir.

The first lesson I learned was that there is no set amount of research, memorization, or preparation that will guarantee success in a task that relies on experience. Reading the manual on how to build a platform tent does not give you the skills to do it and knowing the steps on how to milk a goat does not give you the abilities to do so. Learning to deal with uncontrollable variables was next. Building a fishing rod does not guarantee fish, planting seeds does not guarantee a good harvest, and sometimes the weather would change without notice. Through blood, sweat, and tears, I realized that life doesn't consent to the paths and plans we make. We can only get to our final destination by conquering the detours, taking alternate routes, accepting uncertainty, and learning from failure.

The second lesson was a personal challenge. Animals, just like people, have unique personalities and sometimes we need to listen to them in order for them to hear us. Superior intelligence is a gift that is needed in order to understand and work with those less fortunate to reach a mutual agreement. It is not a right to overpower, manipulate, or control. The struggles I faced in trying to tame the goats, finding them when they ran away, nurturing them when they got sick, and letting them go taught me that learning to control and express my emotions was essential for meaningful communication and rational thinking. This is just as important when dealing with people. What I considered strengths in my independent life proved to be weaknesses in my communal life. Modern society facilitates and encourages independence, but humans by nature require interdependence for survival. I quickly learned that asking for help wasn't something for the weak. Trusting others with shared responsibilities proved to be more efficient and productive than trying to do everything on my own. Living in a commune forced me to accept that I couldn't be good at everything, which is why it's important to work with other people's strengths in order to create something extraordinary.

The last lesson is probably the most important for living a happy and fulfilling life. Humility and appreciation for the smallest and simplest of things is one of the hardest lessons to learn because we all take life for granted. The joy I received from milking my own milk, gathering my own eggs, and building my own house is indescribable. The excitement I felt every time I bit into one of the vegetables that I had planted and anticipated for so long is incomparable. The overwhelming pleasuring in losing track of the construct of time and just being alive is euphoric. This project exceeded all my expectations and restructured my entire being. Being able to escape the constructs of society, free our minds, and connect with nature is essential for personal discovery and development.

While everyone else anxiously waited to hear from the colleges they had applied to, I worked with lawyers to find a way around my imminent deportation. Sometime between graduation and my 18th birthday, the court reached a verdict. In order to continue my pursuit for higher education, I would have to get married. My first semester at Suffolk County Community College (SCCC) consisted of being the secretary of the Honors Club, working full-time with foster children, achieving a 4.0 while taking some of the most challenging class offered, competing on the forensics team, and wedding planning. In our eyes, fate had just pushed our wedding date sooner than expected. I wanted my wedding to embody the love that we had been nurturing since our sophomore year of high school. On January 1st, 2011 I kicked off the New Year by legally binding myself to my first love. Every weekend there after we alternated visits between Lehigh University and SCCC. The newfound responsibilities and financial implications of marriage led me to bartending as a means for extra cash. I quickly learned that some people believe their bartender to be a personal and unlicensed therapist. I had my regular clients with the same series of problems and the occasional straggler that would challenge my beliefs. Suddenly, I was the one who needed a therapist. I broke my lifelong promise of becoming a veterinarian to pursue a higher calling. My newfound love for the unconscious and fascination with the mind led me to believe I could use psychology and neuroscience to study animal behavior. By identifying the similarities and proving the intellectual superiority of the wild animals I admire I could potentially save them from the greatest threat of all, humans.

During my second semester at SCCC, I received the Honors Foundation Full-Tuition Scholarship. My responsibilities only grew during my second semester when I was inducted into the Ammerman Campus chapter of the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I also took on coaching the Southampton P.A.L Cheerleading Team for grades 2-5. I became the Vice-President of the Honors Club during my third semester and was appointed as the eastern leader of the Global Citizens Corporation program. Upon graduating from SCCC and the Honor's Program, I was presented with the Academic Excellence and Service Award in recognition for my outstanding academic achievement and contributions to the Honors Program.

It was time to transfer schools and I was once again, dealing with lawyers. I wanted to defy the system by exceeding the system's expectations of what an illegal immigration is capable of accomplishing. I wanted to be able to take full advantage of the next school I would attend, but my status limited my finances and inhibited my opportunities. I needed more time. Then, life's quirks presented me with a once in a lifetime opportunity. Culinary arts have been a passion of mine since I was nine years old, but I never considered making it a profession. I would learn the ins and outs of operating and opening a food establishment from start to finish. I rose to the challenge because I knew school could wait until I resolved my legal problems. As the assistant manager at Pepalajefa, I was in charge of scheduling, payroll, training, hiring, ordering, inventory, advertising, graphic design, and public relations. My workweek included working from open to close, which meant over 80 hours a week in the summer. My front of house duties included advising and informing on European gourmet and catering. My culinary duties included developing the recipes, creating the daily menus, and translating across cultures between the owners and the staff. When the work season came to an end, I confirmed that I never wanted to turn my hobby into a job.

I wrapped up the shop for the winter just in time for the interview that would determine the fate of my existence in this country. Our story was innocent, young, and that didn't meet the standards of marriage according to modern society. We relied on love and hope that the truth would be enough to prove our good faith marriage. Five minutes into the interview and tears welled in my eyes, my body was limp, and I was speechless. All I heard was, "Your marriage is out of the ordinary, but you're history proves you deserve this. So congratulations and I know you will make my country proud." Then I fainted. My green card came in the mail during the first month of the New Year. The freedom to roam without fear was invigorating. I used my new wings to explore fifteen states in one month with only a backpack and a spirit that soared higher than the rest. When I landed back home I knew I was ready to take back control of my career and exploit my newfound circumstance. I was never accepted amongst people my age because the majority of them can't relate to the life I've lived. Even the older crowds found obstacles to impede my inclusion. After 20 years, I was finally accepted into the biggest and most exclusive group of all. I am the American Dream.

The individuals enrolled in The School of General Studies of Columbia University are the archetype for the quality of education to which I'm devoted. My untraditional lifestyle and experiences have only increased my admiration for and need to be surrounded by others with unconventional lives. I thrive off the energy that is exerted by those who possess similar ambitions and can relate to stories like my own. Having the privilege to join the elite group of warriors at Columbia GS will provide the strength I require to triumph in the stimulating academic atmosphere that I will embark on. Your psychology department is composed by several of the minds I greatly idolize. As I read professor Alexandra Horowitz's books on canine cognition, I could feel the same love for and devotion to animals I possess. I was ecstatic after learning about professor Herbert Terrace's research on animal intelligence. It is with guidance from them and those who possess similar passions that I will fulfill my dreams.

The Core is an extension of my high school's spiral curriculum. The principles of Columbia University are my principle. People with experiences as unique as my own are what form the School of General Studies. I am in love with and fit perfectly into Columbia University. I will fight endlessly for this love and promise to exceed all of your challenges. By giving me the honor of acceptance to Columbia University I will pledge my life to proving that I am more than an embodiment of a dream come true.

formenthos 3 / 20  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
Sorry, I stopped reading becuase I have to go right now, but I'll come back and read more later.

What are the exact requirements for the autobiography essay? Is it supposed to be this long? GS is general undergrad studies right? not graduate studies right? I feel I like you're explaining everything of your entire life. I know it makes sense to you of course, but there are continuity details you're missing that make it tough to handle the time gaps.

You're writing this chronologically, with a ton of details, but you're not concentrating on them. You use the situations as an explanation for your state of mind and resolve. You need to show the admissions how you respond and reflect on the situations.

I'm not going to lie, I have never read a biography book, though I watch biography documentaries a lot... and even then they don't get into every little detail that is going on every year. I feel like you need to pick key events and concentrate on defining moments. Moving into the country and how that was hard, dealing with a single parent and taking responsibilities as a mother, deportation... I feel you include a ton of stuff that I can learn from a resume document that I think you should be submitting, and not enough about you and your thoughts and feelings. Sorry to say it, but this is a very loooong and dry read, and from what I have read so far, I'm left asking myself, besides going through a tough life, what have I learned about your qualities as a person? I can't nail anything definitive down. I mean you sound perfect in a general sense, but nothing impacts on me besides your have have a rough life. You need to impact me with how you deal with things. This feels so much like an expanded timeline of events with minimal input from you.

Please post the instructions. Is it really supposed to be this long? I find that very hard to believe.
OP x6karebear9o 3 / 7  
Mar 14, 2013   #3
No it's not suppose to be this long. This is the instructions: Autobiographical Essay (1,500 - 2,000 words)
Tell us about your educational history, work experience, present situation, and plans for the future. Please make sure to address why you consider yourself a nontraditional student, and have chosen to pursue your education at the School of General Studies of Columbia University. Successful essays should not only identify and describe specific elements of the program, academic or otherwise, that meet your needs as a nontraditional student, but should also explain why GS is the place for you.

I asked one of my professors to help me, but all he said was, "This is quite an essay. You have a strong, clear voice that takes a

fascinating story -- actually a bit of an epic -- and tells it very well. Anyway, it really is a great essay. Just give it a good, rigorous

polishing. Columbia should count itself lucky to get you."

But I have exceeded the word limit by over 1000 words. I know I can condense some of my stories and explanations but I consider them all to be just as important and can't decide what needs to go and what needs to be emphasized. Maybe its too wordy or too vague in some parts? My introduction is very general and needs a lot of improvement. I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me with this process.
OP x6karebear9o 3 / 7  
Mar 14, 2013   #4
Much bigger help than my professors! Columbia would be a dream come true, so I can't thank you enough for all this help!


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