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McIntire School of Commerce admission essay



rayout 1 / 1  
Jan 23, 2010   #1
Essay 1 Question: What have you gained from the activities and experiences listed in the Activity portion of the application that will help you contribute to the overall experience of fellow McIntire students?

My experience improved both my self-commitment and collaborative spirit, shaping me to be more dynamic and responsible within a group.

I used to stay behind and do only the assigned work. When I was called to help the activity chair in the International Students Inc (ISI.), I did the same. Serving as the secretary of ISI, not in the activity group, I felt justified. The event to be hosted faced an emergency as the scheduled performer could not make it. As the event approached, the instructions or ideas I expected never come. The activity chair was struggling in a week full of mid-terms and no one took action. Finally I decided to have a try, since ISI as the first organization that embraced me here meant so much to me that I did not really want to screw up. It was tough but I finally got a Chinese wind instrument group. It seemed that everyone else just became more active and contributing when I showed my desire to make efforts, making me realize that within a group everyone should try to take the lead instead of counting on others.

A sense of responsibility and commitment also developed through my experience. My Madison House volunteer work was based on a weekly base, which seemed easier before I really began the 3 hour shift every Friday. True, things might come up, but many times they were excuses. Our group leader, though busy as a commerce student, never missed a shift, convincing me not to justify absence by anything like "too many homework" to prevent inconvenience for the group. It was all a problem of attitude. After making up my mind, I found that very rarely it was really impossible to show up, realizing my duty as a volunteer and part of a group. It worked the same when I did my intern in China. I tried to give my supervisor a sign of improvement rather than excuses when I made mistakes like inserting wrong statistics.

For McIntire there is no exception, I look forward to working with other aspiring leaders to excel both as an individual and a group.

Essay2 Question: Life brings disappointment as well as satisfaction. Please describe a time in your life when you faced disappointment or faced difficult or trying circumstances. How did you respond?

My life choice brought me a real sense of distance: over 1400 dollars and 20 hours to take me home in China, every time. During my first months in an American university, I got a feeling that I had neither experienced not expected: a combination of homesickness, loneliness, and a sense of loss. I did not know what it was exactly. "Uprooted plant" was my father's description later, an appropriate one. Everything seemed fine, which meant at least I never try to screw up my grades, but I knew my energy was draining, keeping me at a "low state". Sometimes I could not help to question the soundness of my choice to come here. When I finally spilled out to my father on Skype about my depression, he said that there was not really a bad choice. You could make your choice good or bad, by just stop worrying and do the work. That was the time I decided to be responsible for my choice and make it a better one. In order to get rid the low mood I did try a lot of things. The gym became one of my regular destinations, though my favorite activity used to be sleeping. Exercise did make me more energetic and healthier. I began to set more specific goals of my study, leaving less time for a wandered mind, which often ended in depression. I began to join organizations and meet more different people, as to see a broader world was my original reason to be here. My life became busier, but also happier. The excitement of making new friends and immersing in new cultures grew, like the new leaves for the "uprooted plant".

I was not the kind of person who often encountered depression. This experience might be one of the few real emotional downturns for me. The way I faced it told me to solve problems actively, by trying out different approaches and making efforts, rather than passively, by worrying too much. I guess for whatever challenges I will encounter in McIntire, I will act in the same way.

could you give some advice?

OP rayout 1 / 1  
Jan 24, 2010   #2
...is there anything wrong with my thread?


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