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McIntire essay - Taking life in stride, multi-cultural experience



AmberCommerce 2 / 4  
Dec 27, 2013   #1
We value differences in background/perspective/experiences. What can you contribute to our learning environment?

My muscles ache with each step I take off the bus into the balmy Spanish evening. I have never been this far away from my family. I am bundled up with a sweater and scarf, yet I cannot stop shivering. We start walking through the city, unsure of where we will be sleeping tonight. We have to rest every five minutes because my body is so tired. My lymph nodes are so swollen swallowing is painful. I think I have the flu. We keep wandering.

Eventually, we find a place to stay. We climb on the roof of a building overlooking the port. I have never slept on the streets before. I sleep uncomfortably on the hard rocks. I wake up before dawn and realize various bugs have taken breakfast on my face.

Yet I could not be happier. I witnessed the port waking up, haloed by dawn's rosy glow. The fishermen getting ready to make their day's pay, with their nets and their indistinct shouting. The cafes turning their signs to 'abierto' and setting out their terrace. The rare early-wakers walking the docks, their figure reflected in the water. The little discomforts are unimportant, they are just part of the experience, and I love every minute of it.

Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, whomever I am with, I take it in stride. Whether I'm bathing in a plastic suitcase in the blazing Australian dessert. Trying to assimilate the morning prayer my Dominican classmates are reciting. Assisting a sow give birth and seeing miniature piglets breath for the first time as I help take the membrane off of them. Helping a Columbian stranger with her paperwork, when I myself am new to this land. Misspelling tie-dye as 'tye-die' as I set out my first stand at the farmer's market, with a handful of English and quarters in my pocket.

Having grown up in a constantly changing environment, I am comfortable in any setting. I take every experience as a chance to learn something. I will readily admit when I am ignorant on a topic - it only opens doors for more opportunities. Wherever I end up - be it the mountains of Nepal or the concrete jungle of New York - I know I will make the most of every moment.

thenewdude 13 / 59  
Dec 27, 2013   #2
a sweater and a scarf
My lymph nodes are so swollen,

In the second para, you say that you climb onto (not 'on') the roof of a building. That is not sleeping on the streets. If you want, you can say, 'I have never lived like this before.'

I sleep uncomfortably on the hard FLOOR (how are there rocks on the terrace?) ; I wake up.... (not a full stop but a semi colon.)

The rare early-wakers walking the docks, their figure reflected in the water. - suddenly the tense has been changed from simple present to present continuous. Try using one tense throughout.

Overall, you come off as very convincing. Great Job!!

Please look at my st. olaf essay.


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