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most meaningful piece of advice you have ever received?



semaluvu 1 / -  
Nov 10, 2008   #1
What has been the most meaningful piece of advice you have ever received? Who gave you this advice and in what way(s) have you put it to use? (250 words or less)

Please Please ....help me

He began clicking through the presentation explaining the intricacies of our grammar assignment. Then he said my fear; my teacher said that we must work "in groups." Ever since kindergarten, group work meant completing a project individually and again, that is exactly what happened, in this class. My group decided on the theme for our pronoun choices, but then the horrid bell rang and no one had volunteered to do the work. Once again, I was given the dutiful task of completing the project despite my sincerest hopes that another would take my place. I was forced to finish it on my own and present the project with the rest of the group.

I didn't want to let go effortlessly; I wanted to prove to everyone that I was not "complete-the-project girl," so I gave my friends the cold shoulder. While I thought it was the right thing to do at the time, after two days of the revolting silence I couldn't bear it and decided to forgive my friends. While the punishment was short, my point was clearly made, but I discovered holding a grudge was much easier than forgiving past mistakes.

I had heard his voice in my head as I do every day. My grandfather was saying, "If you forget and forgive, you win the world." His quote, like a guardian angel, has whispered to me in my time of need and has helped me accomplish all that I dream of and so much more.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Nov 10, 2008   #2
Good evening :)

With such a restrictive word count, you really have to "get to the point." This piece doesn't get to the point until the very last paragraph, the next to last sentence. I suggest using this last paragraph as your introduction and then follow it up by a short explanation of how it has helped you "accomplish all that" you "dream and so much more." The story you tell is a touching one, but it does distract from your point and the prompt. With a little re-working this can be a great piece.

Best of luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
pixiegirl 2 / 1  
Nov 12, 2008   #3
Thank you very much for the help!!


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