"go into medical school and to become a doctor " - essay for University of Hartford?

Applying for University of Hartford.
Considering your strengths, talents, and interests,why do you wish to attend
the University of Hartford?

In the beginning of high school I wasn't always sure what the future would be.Throughout high school, I decided to interact with others. This helped me discover what I want out of life. Joining clubs and doing community service showed me that you can make a difference.

My interest grew in mostly science. I love to learn new things whether it be, biology or chemistry. Going to University of Hartford will help me further my knowledge and understanding of biology. I strongly believe that University of Hartford will help me expand on my intended major that grew from just a interest to what I would like to make a career out of. Hoping to take in higher knowledge of biology from University of Hartford science program: I plan to take these ideas from what I learn into getting a career in the medical field.

My goal is to go into medical school and to become a doctor because I want to help others that can't help themselves. I believe that University of Hartford will prepare me for the journey that lies ahead.

This is a rough draft. Please I would like feedback that would be greatly appreciated.

I like your essay alot. its very concise, and descriptive. is there a word limit? if not, then you should enchance your descriptivenes on creativity and your knowledge and such. now, can u proofread mine?

In the beginning of high school I wasn't always sure what the future would be.---This is a statement of the obvious, a "truism." It does not really help! Anyone could say this.

Joining clubs and doing community service showed me that you can make a difference.---You can be more specific about what you did.

... and understanding of biology. ---Again, it is better if you are more specific. If you have read a lot of books and articles, you will say something more specific because your interests are well-developed.

...a career in the medical field. ---And again, be more specific to show well developed interests and plans. What kind of physician? What kind of work setting? What advances in medical science interest you? What articles have you recently read?

:-)