Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech and what do you hope to contribute to our community?
During high school I was a leading member of a FIRST robotics team. We built a robot in a short period of time and, after going to competition, went to elementary schools demonstrating our robot to their students. I was tasked with doing the demonstrations; standing in front of troves of young minds, showing them something they had never seen before. In their eyes, I saw a wonder and appreciation for the beauty of technology and engineering. While only some of these children may go on to become engineers and computer scientists, all of them will retain some wonder, excitement, and appreciation for the power of technology that will carry on for the rest of their lives. By going to Georgia Tech I hope to share this wonder and appreciation with as many people as possible, both during my time at Tech, and after my graduation. I believe Georgia Tech can give me the tools necessary to accomplish this dream, while allowing me to have a positive impact on its community.
During high school I was a leadingan active member of a FIRST robotics team. ----- I guess is this the name of your team. Otherwise, dont have "a" in front.
We built a robot with in a short period of time and, after going toas a part of competition, went toelementary schools demonstrating our robot to their studentswe had to demostrate our robot to students of elementary schools. I was tasked with doing the demonstrations; standing in front of troves of young minds, showing them something they had never seen before. In their eyes, I saw awonderastonishment and appreciation for the beauty of technology and engineering. While only some of these children may go on to become engineers and computer scientists in future , all of them willwould retain some wonder, excitement, and appreciation for the power of technology that will carry on for the rest ofthroughout their lives. By going tojoining Georgia Tech, I hope to share this wonderexcitment and appreciation with as many people as possible, both during my time at Tech, and after my graduation.
I believe Georgia Tech can give me the tools necessary to accomplish this dream, while allowing me to have a positive impact on its community .---------- See my suggestion for your last sentence;
I believe Georgia Tech is the place where I can gather tools to accomplish this dream while making a positive impact on its community.
Hey Dumi,
Thanks for your help, the thing is going to demonstrate was not part of the competition, it was volunteer work. Other then that all your suggestions are great! Thank you
During high school I was the leading member of the first robotics team. We built a robot in a short period of time, competing and demonatrating our robot to students . I conducted the demonstrations, standing in front of troves of young minds, showing them something they had never seen before. I saw a wonder and appreciation for the beauty of technology and engineering in their eyes. While only some of these children may go on to become engineers and computer scientists, all of them will retain some wonder, excitement, and appreciation for the power of technology that will carry on for the rest of their lives. By going to Georgia Tech I hope to share this wonder and appreciation with as many people as possible, (both during my time at Tech, and after my graduation.) [you can rephrase this somewhere else] I believe Georgia Tech can give me the tools necessary to accomplish this dream, [while allowing me to have a positive impact on its community.]<<honestly, I don't even think you need this part.
Overall, really good short response! I thought it was touching!
Hello,
This essay does not fully answer the prompt. Why Georgia Tech? You did not mention anything in your essay that you could not complete at any other university in the world. Why Georgia Tech? For this you need to do some research on the school. This prompt, in essence, is trying to find out what are the resources at Ga Tech that you will take advantage of, and how, buy utilizing those resources, will you contribute back to Ga Tech and the community. -AAO
