My most memorable experience: 21st November, just after my birthday; Colony Cricket League

As everyone has some memorable event in the year, I too have a memorable event that I will never forget. It was 21st November, The day just after my birthday and I was playing the finals of the Colony Cricket League. I was leading my team against our all-time rivals, The Roaring Lions. We had to bowl first as the call went to the opponents. I bowled 3 stunning overs taking a five wicket haul!!! After a running catch by me, we finished them off for 137 runs in 30 overs. Everyone was exhausted after this innings and risen up their arms to bat; Eventually, I with the vice captain managed to control the pitch. I waged a ferocious 86 not out in just 53 balls while my partner hitting the final run completing his half century. It was the first match of my captaincy and we won the league. I received so many awards like 'Man Of the Match', 'Man Of the Tournament', 'Most Sixes', 'Rising Star', 'Golden Bat' and the 'Silver Ball'.My happiness knew no bounds since no one ever looked at me as an able player. Today, I proved myself to be something, an able captain and an all-rounder at last.

some memorable event should be some memorable events
I too have a memorable event that I will never forget. : memorable and I will never forget are kind of repetition here

I think your essay could use a bit more description on your emotions during this experience; not just how the game itself turned out. And maybe try having a story in the beginning and finish with the "I will never forget this memorable event" thing. What's your word limit? It seems like it could use some more to the essay.

Hope this was moderately helpful!
Good Luck!

As everyone has some memorable event in the year , I too have a memorable event that I will never forget. It was the 21st November (??? mention the year too), The day just after my birthday and I was playingplayed the finalsfinal match of the Colony Cricket League, which was the first match I captained .

This is very well written. Good job!

Thanks a lot. I wrote this when I was in the 7th grade. I myself am able to correct my mistakes now.

Hi Jnanam, it certainly feels good on our part to know that you are confident enough to say that you can now spot your mistakes and also correct them on your own. We are always happy when we are able to help the students even in the smallest way when it comes to helping them improve their written English work. Don't forget, we are always going to be here for you even if you think you don't need us anymore. Just in case, you are still welcome to post your future written work for our comments and review. If you constantly have your written work reviewed, you will find that your writing skills will continue to improve and you will be learning writing styles and tricks that you did not know before. Just a friendly reminder. I for one am very excited to see the marked difference in your writing styles. Maybe I will have that chance some day soon.