First draft. Needs a lot of butchering. Also needs to be heavily cut down from 337 words to around 250 without losing the meaning (maybe I made the exp. to long?). Do I sound biased in any way? Also, feel free to make any changes or additions you feel necessary. Thanks.
"Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan. (around 250 words)
I used to study at an elementary school in the States, but I am studying at an all-Chinese Hong Kong high school.
In the Chinese classroom, we had a class discussion. I enjoy involvement in classroom discussions. However, the majority of the class was rather quiet and there were many dead moments of silence during that classroom discussion. Some had really brilliant ideas but were silent at the beginning and would only speak nearing the end. Perhaps they preferred to have exhausted all careful considerations prior to speaking up. This reminded me of discussions when I was in the States, my American classmates were more assertive and we all felt empowered to hold open discussions at ease. The experience had made me induce my Chinese classmates tend to be more conservative and full of thought before action, whereas Americans are more bold and unconstrained. Both cultural behaviors are unique and I have learned to appreciate each of their differences.
My exposure to both sides of the spectrum, both as a Chinese and an American, have made me think more deeply about diversity. Diversity is not just about culturally diversity, it is the different perspectives that occur from different people that may have an origin somewhere from their different societies and communities and beliefs. I believe diversity is an essential aspect to maturity, allowing us to appreciate differences and allow people with different beliefs to work together toward a greater good. I look forward to even more diversifying experiences to broaden my ethnic and peripheral horizons at the University of Michigan.
"Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan. (around 250 words)
I used to study at an elementary school in the States, but I am studying at an all-Chinese Hong Kong high school.
In the Chinese classroom, we had a class discussion. I enjoy involvement in classroom discussions. However, the majority of the class was rather quiet and there were many dead moments of silence during that classroom discussion. Some had really brilliant ideas but were silent at the beginning and would only speak nearing the end. Perhaps they preferred to have exhausted all careful considerations prior to speaking up. This reminded me of discussions when I was in the States, my American classmates were more assertive and we all felt empowered to hold open discussions at ease. The experience had made me induce my Chinese classmates tend to be more conservative and full of thought before action, whereas Americans are more bold and unconstrained. Both cultural behaviors are unique and I have learned to appreciate each of their differences.
My exposure to both sides of the spectrum, both as a Chinese and an American, have made me think more deeply about diversity. Diversity is not just about culturally diversity, it is the different perspectives that occur from different people that may have an origin somewhere from their different societies and communities and beliefs. I believe diversity is an essential aspect to maturity, allowing us to appreciate differences and allow people with different beliefs to work together toward a greater good. I look forward to even more diversifying experiences to broaden my ethnic and peripheral horizons at the University of Michigan.
