What you might add to the Mac community, academically and personally?

Macalester Supplement essay 2017

please take time to read it. Any constructive feedback is welcome :)

Q) Macalester is a community that includes people from many different backgrounds. Please write an essay about how your background, experiences, or outlook might add to the Mac community, academically and personally.

In 2015 I was selected to attend Mahindra United World College (MUWCI). With students from over 70 countries, MUWCI provided me an opportunity to connect with people from multicultural backgrounds. While every interaction I had at MUWCI was a learning experience, the most enlightening conversation I had in the span of two years was with Ahmad, an Afghan junior. Even though I knew about the war-torn situation in Afghanistan beforehand; hearing it from someone who lived the conflict for years was eye-opening. Not only did I get to know about the situation of women rights in Afghanistan, he told me about the people who were killed while fighting with Taliban in Afghanistan. Every conversation with him allowed me to see Afghanistan beyond the stereotypes. I got to know that they have musical concerts in Kabul, there are practitioners women engineers and doctor, and they get a considerable amount of tourists every year! Interactions with him were similar to talking in a mirror because like Afghanistan, Pakistan, too has been plagued by the epidemic of Terrorism. From interactions like this to sharing classes with Palestinian and Syrian refugees, I got to see a more human and less publicized version of reality of war-torn regions. It allowed me to relate to and care about the issue. And most importantly, it reminded me of the reason I decided to come to MUWCI: To fight for World peace. I went in with the aspiration of becoming a Chartered Accountant and wanted to save the world when I graduated. To continue paving the path I have chosen, I aspire to join both Political Activities and the Newspaper group at Mac. I believe I can contribute to Mac community by writing articles about social issues in Pakistan as well as around the world. In addition to this, I plan on collaborating with other students and faculty members to form a World affairs club. The club will provide a space where students can discuss important issues/events that would be taking place in their countries. These can be political, economic, social, environmental. This group will not only highlight the current issues but will provide the student body with a better understanding of issues by listening from someone who belongs to the respective region.

While I can contribute to Mac community politically, another important aspect of my personality is Theater. From studying Theater at the high school to directing and acting in various plays, I believe that Theater is an important part of an intellectually stimulating community because it presents our own ideas and beliefs in a way that make us question them. I believe that I can contribute to Mac theater season by directing plays like Hedda Gabler, Anne Frank's diary, and The Crucible, to name a few. The major reason for projecting these plays or any other will based on their political and social relevance in the world today.

To conclude, I believe that at Mac I can not only show people the need for quick action to attain World peace, but will learn from their life experiences, and diverse backgrounds as well.

@madiefarts123
You wrote well madiefart but i still say that your essay emphasize more on networking aspect of it. Your conversation with ahmad shows that on meeting with each other occured. It would have been more surperior if you were in shoes of ahmad who went through experience the live conflict for year and narration this experience would have made this essay more advance.

Hi Maddy, thank you for being an active participant in this forum. If you don't mind, I would like to give you further assistance with your essay. I would like to call your attention to the first paragraph that you wrote. This part requires further editing and content adjustment.

Remember, the focus of the essay must always be on your experience and your contribution to Mac in the future. By introducing the story of Ahmad, you remove that focus and turn the first half of the essay into his story and his introduction. He is not the applicant here. It would be best to remove that direct reference and instead, turn what you learned from him into a general statement. A more appropriate response would be:

While attending MUWCI, I came across a diversity of students that I had never thought existed before. It was during my time studying there that I learned about the political and social differences of our world and how that applies to global and regional peace and stability. I discovered that our countries are not too different from one another. We all share the same dream of peace and we all try to create our out stability in our corner of the world. My political and social enlightenment is what I can bring with me to Mac. From my ideas about how to promote Women's Rights, to my quest for peace in my home country of Pakistan, these will all help me to make a positive contribution to the Political Activities and Newspaper group of Mac.

Keep the first paragraph short but informative. You don't have to narrate every single detail of the experience. A critical summary presentation is sufficient and will also balance it with the content of the second paragraph. Thus creating a balanced and easier to read essay on your part which the reviewer will truly appreciate.