Both of my essays are about 800 words combined. I have to get rid of about 350 words. Please help me revise and shorten, thank you.
We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than 250 words each or a total of 500 words for both statements. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.
1. If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
4. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that will allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
1. Some people may say it was a mistake. I say it was a blessing. During my third semester of college; my sophomore year, I found out that I was pregnant. At first, I was nervous to tell my parents about becoming a mother in college. The longer I waited to tell my parents the more I became anxious and nervous. Not wanting to tell my parents because I felt that their dreams and aspirations for me would subside. After telling my parents about the pregnancy gave me sensational relief knowing that they were willing to be there for support. This comfort made me elated due to the fact not many female relatives were able to complete college after getting pregnant. Though they had the chance to experience college their potential to graduate was slim to none because they didn't have the support that I was given. As I evaluated the information I immediately made up my mind no to give up on my college education despite this obstacle in life. Gaining the courage to continue my education, that back of my mind told me "it is going to be a struggle." But, the front of my mind told me, "you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you." From that point I knew I was going to have my ups and downs throughout this journey and it is up to me to keep the faith and strength not to give up on myself. I had troubling times such as not having a place to live at one point during my pregnancy. I was being picked on in a house I used to call home by my college roommates. I was told by my doctor to find another place to live to keep my unborn child at good health. Therefore, moving into a friends house was the only way to keep a roof over my head. Within in two months I was let go from my job after they found out I was with child. In the mean time I still had the motivation to attend my classes and not give up on my education. Things started coming around when I started another job and leased my own apartment. I was not making much by the hour but I was able to save up for the important things needed for my daughter to come. My family was their to provide everything else I didn't have. Another obstacle came when I had to transfer from a University to a Community College. Transferring was necessary, because I needed the flexibility within my class schedule to go to work during the day and school at night. At times I was extremely tired and other times there were thoughts of throwing in the towel, despite the negative feelings I kept pressing forward into my future. My life became an ongoing cycle of working fulltime, being a mom fulltime, and going to school fulltime that never stopped. This cycle made me emotionally, physically, and mentally drained but giving up was not an option because I had been through too much to give up now. Then there came a time for me to transitioning back home due to not being consistently stable for my daughter. The transition back home to finish college has been a constant reminder that I still have determination left within in me. I have been strong to overcome my obstacles because it is substantial that I don't give up on my education. Giving up will not just effect myself but my daughter and my family as well that helped me along the way. Therefore, I must continue my educational goal until the very end.
2. Growing up as a child I knew life is what you make of it. If you put forth your hard work and dedication you will have a great reward in the end. From a memory of eighth grade telling a substitute teacher my career goal was to become a famous model had me baffled by her reply. "Choose another career because you will not make it in that field," that statement completely caught me off guard. Who is she to say I will not make it in the career of my choice? My parents raised me to believe I can be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. To become the person I wanted to be I had to develop faith and belief in myself first in order to achieve it. The statement from the substitute teacher allowed me to realize that it was only the beginning of the negative remarks. After that statement, I became a person who always had something to prove to myself. Despite what others say or despite what others think of my level of success I will remain true to "my" goals. By not allowing negative comments to dictate my achievement. I developed a mind set that did not allow me to quit anything I started as well as developing of great worth within myself knowing the control I have over my future. The person I became, focused on individual needs and goals in order to prove it does not matter what the negative commentators will state. As long as I am certain of my capabilities and what I can conquer. I became a person that climbed out of holes instead of waiting to be rescued. I became a person that smiles through troubling times because I know only good can come from it. I simply became a person that has ambition and patience because in life that combination blocks out all negativity which allows me to keep running the race until my goals are accomplished.
We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than 250 words each or a total of 500 words for both statements. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.
1. If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
4. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that will allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
1. Some people may say it was a mistake. I say it was a blessing. During my third semester of college; my sophomore year, I found out that I was pregnant. At first, I was nervous to tell my parents about becoming a mother in college. The longer I waited to tell my parents the more I became anxious and nervous. Not wanting to tell my parents because I felt that their dreams and aspirations for me would subside. After telling my parents about the pregnancy gave me sensational relief knowing that they were willing to be there for support. This comfort made me elated due to the fact not many female relatives were able to complete college after getting pregnant. Though they had the chance to experience college their potential to graduate was slim to none because they didn't have the support that I was given. As I evaluated the information I immediately made up my mind no to give up on my college education despite this obstacle in life. Gaining the courage to continue my education, that back of my mind told me "it is going to be a struggle." But, the front of my mind told me, "you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you." From that point I knew I was going to have my ups and downs throughout this journey and it is up to me to keep the faith and strength not to give up on myself. I had troubling times such as not having a place to live at one point during my pregnancy. I was being picked on in a house I used to call home by my college roommates. I was told by my doctor to find another place to live to keep my unborn child at good health. Therefore, moving into a friends house was the only way to keep a roof over my head. Within in two months I was let go from my job after they found out I was with child. In the mean time I still had the motivation to attend my classes and not give up on my education. Things started coming around when I started another job and leased my own apartment. I was not making much by the hour but I was able to save up for the important things needed for my daughter to come. My family was their to provide everything else I didn't have. Another obstacle came when I had to transfer from a University to a Community College. Transferring was necessary, because I needed the flexibility within my class schedule to go to work during the day and school at night. At times I was extremely tired and other times there were thoughts of throwing in the towel, despite the negative feelings I kept pressing forward into my future. My life became an ongoing cycle of working fulltime, being a mom fulltime, and going to school fulltime that never stopped. This cycle made me emotionally, physically, and mentally drained but giving up was not an option because I had been through too much to give up now. Then there came a time for me to transitioning back home due to not being consistently stable for my daughter. The transition back home to finish college has been a constant reminder that I still have determination left within in me. I have been strong to overcome my obstacles because it is substantial that I don't give up on my education. Giving up will not just effect myself but my daughter and my family as well that helped me along the way. Therefore, I must continue my educational goal until the very end.
2. Growing up as a child I knew life is what you make of it. If you put forth your hard work and dedication you will have a great reward in the end. From a memory of eighth grade telling a substitute teacher my career goal was to become a famous model had me baffled by her reply. "Choose another career because you will not make it in that field," that statement completely caught me off guard. Who is she to say I will not make it in the career of my choice? My parents raised me to believe I can be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. To become the person I wanted to be I had to develop faith and belief in myself first in order to achieve it. The statement from the substitute teacher allowed me to realize that it was only the beginning of the negative remarks. After that statement, I became a person who always had something to prove to myself. Despite what others say or despite what others think of my level of success I will remain true to "my" goals. By not allowing negative comments to dictate my achievement. I developed a mind set that did not allow me to quit anything I started as well as developing of great worth within myself knowing the control I have over my future. The person I became, focused on individual needs and goals in order to prove it does not matter what the negative commentators will state. As long as I am certain of my capabilities and what I can conquer. I became a person that climbed out of holes instead of waiting to be rescued. I became a person that smiles through troubling times because I know only good can come from it. I simply became a person that has ambition and patience because in life that combination blocks out all negativity which allows me to keep running the race until my goals are accomplished.
