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MIT essay - community question - one way in which you contributed to your community

Jan 4, 2022   #1

one way in which you contributed to your community

At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world's biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc

200-250 words

The wind blows through your hair as you effortlessly pedal down the side of a hill on your bike. You close your eyes and reminisce in the warm Sunday morning weather until...SNAP! The loose chain on your bike finally breaks, sending you tumbling down the hill. With only a few bruises and cuts, you recollect yourself and sulk your way back home, full of disappointment.

This was me when I was a little kid. I consistently had trouble with my bikes because my bike parts were always too loose or tight and I never understood how to tweak them so they wouldn't break.

To solve this issue, I teamed up with individuals at Brampton Bike Hub to help educate riders and repair bikes in the community

In the beginning, I spent most of my time handing out flyers and talking with the locals to spread the word. Word spread quickly because we were packed for the coming weeks.

I turned my focus to assisting our bike mechanic due to the large number of participants and lack of volunteers. I began by undertaking simple tasks such as readjusting chains, inflating tires, and aligning brake pads. I eventually grew more knowledgeable about bikes and began assisting with larger repairs such as tire patching and inner tube installation.

My favourite part of the whole experience was giving away free bells and lights. It's remarkable how something so insignificant can provide great joy to someone.

I would appreciate any feedback :)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,263 3976  
Jan 4, 2022   #2
This is a good start. It shows how you helped the community but, it is an impersonal method of presenting the community activity. Notice that the prompt asks about how you are being a good friend? Yup. That has to factor into the presentation. You have to show that you were able to create a community, help manage the community, and also, be a friend to the community members. For this particular scenario, you can think of writing based on the saying "A friend in need is a friend indeed." to help explain the development of community friendships and personal friendships based on the community commonality.The problem with the writing is that you appear as seperated from the activity in the presentation. You are not developing a personal insight, just responding in a general manner to the question. It is the personal aspect that counts here. It will help reveal how you get along with people of the same or varied interests, as you would in the MIT community.

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