My mom's lungs were about to get fried, Chemistry class (John Hopkins)

okay so this is johns hopkins supplement

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

here is my response:

Waking up groggy and dizzy on a Saturday morning, I sat up on my bed for a second to establish myself as awake and proceeded to walk to the bathroom. When I got there I found my mom in the bathroom cleaning the toilet. I was about to head downstairs, when my eyes opened wide as I glanced at my mom who was about to pour some bleach in the toilet after adding the toilet bowl cleaner. I ran to her and grabbed the Bleach, in the nick of time. She yelled at me for acting so strange and demanded I explain myself. I told her that she was about to mix together to chemicals that could damage her lungs. I learned through my studies in Chemistry class that bleach contains sodium hypochlorite, and that Toilet cleaners typically contain hydrochloric acid. When mixed these chemicals create an extremely strong Chloramine gas. This gas is so potent and damaging, it is heavily used in mustard gas. Hearing this, my mom apologized for being angry and thanked me for being a caring son.

It is the extreme versatility and usefulness of Chemistry in everyday life that makes it so appealing. As I look around the world we live in, it becomes clearly apparent the prominent role chemistry plays; from the pasteurization of milk, to the analysis of meteorite material, to the newly created Hadron collider. This role it plays is why Chemistry is definitely a major, I will study in college

i feel as if you can expand on this thought. I want to know more about your interest in chemistry, and what you plan to do with an education in chem. This feels like the beginning of a thought; you can add more. is there a word limit? I do like the inclusion of the anecdote and its connection to you, but...you need more.

yeah there is a 250 word limit, so what are some specific things you think i should omit or replace?

explain your interest in chemistry more. i dont think you need to omit anything here, just add a bit more, like experiments you've done, reports you may have written

I think it is well writen, but i think you should write in more details especially about the conference and fund raiser. I think the college would be interested to know more about it.

Hope this helps.