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An 18-month Vacation-an FSU essay



KClevel17 1 / 1  
Sep 13, 2009   #1
FSU

The prompt is: "For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life."

When one thinks of cruising the world and exploring all of its wonders, the usual view would be from the top deck of a luxurious ocean liner. My experience with cruising, however, is slightly different; living on a sailboat the size of a living room with six other people for a year and a half hardly compares to that of said luxurious ocean liner! Alas, that is what happened, and we (my parents, my sister, my three relatives, and me) sailed the ocean blue to the Keys, the Bahamas, the Eastern United States, Southern Europe and the Caribbean on that one catamaran. My school teachers were my parents, and dinner would be anything that my dad and uncle caught. This experience was a key factor in shaping my beliefs and goals reflecting the values of Vires, Artes, and Mores.

Some of my earliest memories of the trip were when my dad took me snorkeling along the reefs of the Bahamas, or wherever we were at the time. Being almost always surrounded by colorful fish and majestic coral reefs instilled an interest in science the environment, in which I wish to pursue at Florida State. Also, besides all the reefs we've explored, another merit I gained from the trip is drawing. Without being able to draw, I would've eaten my hands from excruciating boredom I had suffered while we traveled from port to port. I started drawing whenever I could, and today, I still take out a blank piece of paper and a pencil whenever I have free time in class.

Not everything about the boat trip was all fun and games; my parents took it upon themselves to teach my sister, my cousin, and me the academic basics respective to our grade levels. So, I had to develop self-study skills that I took with me all the way through middle and high school, thus resulting in my good grades.

Whenever we were not doing schoolwork, we were allowed to hang out with the scarce friends we would have. Since there were never a lot of kids around who was my age, I had to learn how to make friends quickly whenever we had the chance of meeting someone. During that time in me life, I made friends with all kinds of children from different backgrounds, so whether they were rich or poor or French or Haitian was never a dominating factor. Rather, I learned to appreciate the different cultures of the places we went to.

From this experience, I learned to be tolerant, responsible, and self-reliant. The boat trip also shaped my beliefs and goals. It made me into the person I am today, and it's the results of the experience that I want to take as a trait of Vires, Artes, and Mores to Florida State University.

Llamapoop123 7 / 433  
Sep 13, 2009   #2
^Wow! Very engaging experience! Too bad that the rest of the essay is fairly mediocre. It is so generic and I feel like you have experienced things that are far more trying than what you have on here.
OP KClevel17 1 / 1  
Sep 14, 2009   #3
I'm sorry, but are you one of the website officers?
Llamapoop123 7 / 433  
Sep 14, 2009   #4
If by "officer" you mean creator then no I am not. "Contributor" just means that I make a habit of reviewing essays.
Kelz0 2 / 4  
Sep 14, 2009   #5
Good Job! I like the way you write the last sentence in paragraph two: "This experience was a key factor in shaping my beliefs and goals reflecting the values of Vires, Artes, and Mores." I also like how descripitive you are in this essay. However this sentence "Also, besides all the reefs we've explored, another merit I gained from the trip is drawing." needs to be written differntly, it sound like they way you are taught to write on the FCAT, starting with the word "another".


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