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Toefl essay - AGREE OR DISAGREE - ONE LONG VACATION OR SEVERAL LONG VACATION.


sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 18, 2014   #1
Some people believe that students should be given one long vocation each year. Other believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Everybody require some break from their tight schedules likewise students also require vocation form their intense academic schedules. Many people promote one long vocation system of the school because it would help student to start their course or academic year with strong zeal of learning. So other several, prefer numbers of short breaks during the year so that student can get rejuvenate periodically. In both the scenario students relief themselves. However, i discern that several small breaks will help students to be active in their academics.

Firstly, several vocations throughout the year will keep stress level of students low. Many educational bodies schedule its small vocations after term exams so that student's get relief form exam pressure. However, research done by universities proves that student's performance improves if they get regular breaks from their learning, preparation and examination schedule. Many colleges in foreign countries provide vocations to students after each semester that facilitate student to entertain themselves as well as prepare for their next semester. Also several holidays aid these students to not only amuse themselves but also arrange fund and materials such as books and references material for their upcoming course.

Secondly, scientific research provide several authentic survey of the students' performance after break. It states that students learning capability increase after having refreshing vocation. To quote an instance, in my school we used to get several vocations after our quarterly exams. During those vocations i used to analyze my performance in latest examination and used to go through those question or concept again to avoid making same mistakes. I also used to spend my time on developing some recreational activity or learning some sports or game. During my all vocations, I used to miss my school due to which I used to restart my session with great enthusiasm of learning and scoring good marks in new quarter.

Vocations are not only required by students but also by professionals and housekeepers. As it not only provide break to them from their regular commitment but also allows them to spend some time on themselves, heel stressful mind and boost desire of resuming to the regular schedule. Therefore schools should consider giving several small vocations to the students during the year.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 19, 2014   #2
First, "vocation" is not the right word. It is "vacation" that means a holiday. "Vocation" means a strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation.

Many people promote one long vocation system of the school because it would help student to start their course or academic year with strong zeal of learning

Some people argue that it is better for the students to have one long vacation instead of several short vacations. Others, however oppose this idea.

In both the scenarios the students reliefget an opportunity to relieve themselves from study pressures. However, iIdiscernbelieve that several small breakshort vacations will help students to be active in their academics.
OP sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 19, 2014   #3
dumi
First, "vocation" is not the right word. It is "vacation" that means a holiday. "Vocation" means a strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation.

Great great thanks Dhumi.
Hey Dhumi - could you please tell how was the over all essay or how it was structured - is it anywhere alike the structure you have provided.

And the suggestion made by you in intro is indeed quit coherent. But can i ask - is mines was wrong or just required more direct and clear delivery of message. I hope you wont mind as i am tracking my self and mistakes, few days to face exam.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 19, 2014   #4
And the suggestion made by you in intro is indeed quit coherent. But can i ask - is mines was wrong or just required more direct and clear delivery of message. I hope you wont mind as i am tracking my self and mistakes, few days to face exam.

Well, it is not wrong, but needed improvement. For example;

Many people promote one long vocation system offor the schools because it would help students to start their course or academic year with strong zeal of learning.

First, "promote" is not the most suitable word there. People can vote for that system, but they are unable to promote that. Hope you got what I meant :D

e.g.
The government promotes NGOs to take part in its economic activities
Parents promote their children to be competitive
Should we promote competition or cooperation is a question!
In all above sentences, the promoter has some authority to do that. But in this essay the people do not have that authority or mandate, but they just express their view :)

Since your exam is nearing, I suggest you to keep to that structure seriously :) I think it is the best way for you to keep improving. Do not experiment with new ways of expressing ideas or new key words now. You now need to be confident in one particular way as you are almost on the verge of your exam. Your writing is not bad and our suggestions are for you improve further and gain a great score at TOEFL :)
OP sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 19, 2014   #5
Thanks Dhumi

For being so helpful and motivating.
Hey can i ask you one more question its about grammar.
With "did" what do we have to use go or went if want to ask somebody where did you went? or it would be where did you go?

AS DID ITSELF IS PAST TENSE.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 20, 2014   #6
With "did" what do we have to use go or went if want to ask somebody where did you went? or it would be where did you go?

It's like this;
QUESTION;
Where did you go? (past tense)
Where do you go? (present tense)
ANSWER;
I went to school / I did go to school ( past tense)
I am going to school / I go to school (present)

"where did you went" is wrong
Hope you got it now :)


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