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"moved from Cambodia to the United States" - UC Prompt



meytng 3 / 8  
Oct 31, 2010   #1
UC #2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I like my older brother. Even though we are at the opposite end of the spectrum, he being Gamma Ray and I being Radio wave, he never ceases to see my brightness.

Since first grade, when I received my first F's, my family labeled me "The Dumb One". They thought I was mentally challenged, and so they took me to the doctor to have my brain X-rayed. I could not blame them for that. One would expect me to be smart when I have a brother who skipped two grades and never experienced what a B felt like. I myself even believed that I was mentally challenged.

When it seemed like the whole world accepted that I was dumb, my brother was the only one who persisted that I was not. He would argue that I was just discouraged because we were being compared and because everyone kept insisting that I not "normal". However, his encouragement did not inspire me: at that young age, I could not care less about education. From first to fifth grade, I had set my own Guinness Record of getting all F's five years in a row. I was quite proud of my "achievement" for everyone who knew me associated the name Mey Taing with stupidity: I founded a new connotation for the word.

When my family moved from Cambodia to the United States in sixth grade, I was ready for a fresh set of F's: there was no way for me to keep up with my classmates when I did not even speak English and still believed that I was mentally disabled. However, my brother encouraged me to give education a try, promising me that if I failed, I could just give up anytime. That seemed to be a fair deal. Upon his urging, I began visiting the local library across the street from our apartment everyday. I read a lot, sometimes up to fifteen books a week. Every time I turned the pages, there were colorful pictures waiting for me. My classmates laughed at me, while they were on their fifty-page chapter books I was still on picture books, but I didn't care. I thought those picture books were more interesting than the boring pages full of difficult words.

My learning experience was like climbing up stairs; each year, I improved a step. By tenth grade, I was out of the ELD Program, and my pride fulfilled me for a while, but I craved for more. I began taking honors classes. As honors classes failed to satisfy my thirst for knowledge, Advance Placement classes replaced them. Still, APs were not enough; my thirst reemerged, so I added Academic Decathlon, to my schedule.

From F's to A's and ELD to Academic Decathlon was a long walk, but I am not tired. Looking back from where I stand today, I can never be more proud of myself, but I must confess that I could never have done all these alone. All my achievements must be credited to my brother. He unlocked the door for me and led the path. Now that he is attending one of the most prestigious universities, I would like to continue following him there. I believe that all the hardships that I have conquered and all the achievements that I have accomplished have prepared me well. I am ready to meet new challenges and enjoy new knowledge that universities can offer me.

Thank you for your comments
Oh and one more thing, can u anyone help me with the sentence "From F's to A's and ELD to Academic Decathlon was a long walk, but I am not tired." ? It kind of sound awkward, doesn't it ?

iceui2 - / 70  
Oct 31, 2010   #2
It's good. You should change "like" to "love" in the first sentence.

How about something along the lines of... "My transformation from F's to A's and ELD to the Academic Decathlon is not over"?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 8, 2010   #3
I myself even believed that I was mentally challenged.
Even I believed that I was mentally challenged.

Well, everyone is mentally challenged. I am good at grammar, but I have no sense of direction. Check out Gardner's "multiple intelligences."

This is such a well structures sentence: By tenth grade, I was out of the ELD Program, and my pride fulfilled me for a while, but I craved for more. ---It is hard to believe you learned English as a 2nd language! You learned well...

From F's to A's and ELD to Academic Decathlon was a long walk, but I am not tired. ---another awesome sentence...

It kind of sound awkward, doesn't it ?---what?! No, not awkward... it is complex but grammatically correct and also... rhythmic.


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