Moving from one country to another is a CHALLENGE

Hi, this is my first time using this website, and it would be pretty helpful if any of you can help me fix my personal statement.

I accept any suggestions.
250 are the words limit.

my personal statement

My Country of birth is Dominican Republic, and I moved a year ago to the United States of America, in which they made me repeat 11th grade because of my age and also because of an amount of credits that I needed. Through this whole high school year, I always tried to do the best that I could to get a GPA above 90 in most of my classes, even though I basically was learning a new language (English) during that whole year. My weakest subject during the high school year was US History because of the different dates, events, the sequence of events, etc, that we are supposed to remember in this class. I wasn't good at all on this object, but I always tried to do the best that I could for a good great and for my knowledge of this subject. I ending passing this class with 90s and passing my Regents exam with a good grade because all the effort that put in this subject. After knew that US History wasn't my strongest subject, I really found that Math was what I was really good at. Math for me is always a change that I have to be dealing every single day for diverse of world problems. Math is a subject in which you never stop learning new thing, so that's how I found my passion and what I really want to pursue in college.

Paola, this is too short to be an effective personal statement. That is usually written within 250 - 500 words. I hope that you can share the original prompt that was given to you to help you write the PS. I am not really sure how I can help you develop this essay further because you have not given me any instructions to consider while I review your paper. How soon can you upload the prompt for me? I can't really tell you what you change and what to add to at the moment because I do not know what the university is requiring you to present to them in terms of information.

Normally, the personal statement indicates a lengthened explanation for the development of your passion in relation to your chosen major. Right now, it seems that this pivotal discussion was brought to the end of the essay when it should have been the central presentation of the essay from the first paragraph to the last. I need to understand how you developed this interest before you came to America, after you came to America, and at what point your passion for Math is at now. If I know what the instructions for the development of this statement is, I should be able to help you better align the information you have now with the prompt requirements.

Hi, I understand that the word limit is very short, but then you have to present the most important points in selling your good points and your ambition. I guess details about your weakest subject do not need to be described here: if you have 250 word limit, it's better to write about your strengths only. Maybe give concrete examples about what you think math could be used for in everyday life or for your future career

Good luck :)

@paola_alba2
Hello Paola! I believe that you are trying to focus on numerous points in a 250-word essay. I believe you should stick to one point i.e. maybe your interest and passion for Mathematics. In addition to that, I believe that you should upload an updated version of this essay with the prompt so that the readers will find it easy to provide you with feedback.

should be: because of the amount of credits that I needed.

should be: I wasn't good at all at this subject