Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 4


"multi-cultural dinner" - UMich Diversity Short Answer



flipflap88 3 / 7  
Oct 10, 2009   #1
"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

During my sophomore year, the Diversity Club held its very first multi-cultural dinner. Students brought a meals inspired by a variety of cultures. Despite being a picky eater, I was determined to try everything that was available. My leap of faith, as it turned out, was rather rewarding. I was surprised to find that most dishes were not as different in taste compared to the Filipino meals my mom made at home. After dinner was a talent show of sorts; many students performed traditional dances and songs that reflected their heritage. One of the most memorable acts of the night involved two Bengali girls. Accompanied by a traditional Bengali folk song in the background, they danced fluidly in their brightly colored saris, with a quiet confidence that rendered the crowd speechless. Although the lyrics were incomprehensible to me, the passion conveyed by the dance was something that I felt was collectively understood.

From my experience, I learned that despite many distinctions between cultures, there is often a universal thread that inevitably links them, whether it is through music or food. This common bond enables diversity to thrive, especially in places such as the University of Michigan, where I hope I can contribute my Filipino heritage, as well as my personal experiences, to the amalgam of cultures already present in the campus.

--

This was really difficult for me to write, so I hope it's not too bad. Feedback is appreciated! Thanks in advance :)

Liebe 1 / 524  
Oct 11, 2009   #2
During my sophomore year..

^I found all of this quite boring. Id attribute such sentiments to the rather, insipid way you have chosen to discuss this club and the experience that accompanied it. When read, this entire paragraph, to me, is just a giant cliche. The content can be fine, and some of it is well written (the Bengali dance part), however for the most part, the writing is nothing particularly interesting.

I however, do think that your ending paragraph is strong. Naturally there is potential to strengthen it, but I also do think that it is fine the way it is now.
OP flipflap88 3 / 7  
Oct 11, 2009   #3
thanks so much! I'll just re-write the first paragraph, then :)
OP flipflap88 3 / 7  
Oct 11, 2009   #4
Re-edited again! Feedback would be great:

When I arrived at the Diversity Club's multi-cultural dinner, the gym was already buzzing with excitement. The seemingly endless tables of food filled the room with a fabulously heady scent that drew guests in. The meals, brought by students, were inspired by different cultures around the world. Despite being a picky eater, I was determined to try everything that was available. Fortunately, my leap of faith turned out to be rather rewarding. I was surprised to find that most dishes were not as different in taste compared to the Filipino meals my mom made at home. Feeling full and contented, I then proceeded to the auditorium, where students were performing traditional dances and songs that reflected their heritage. One of the most memorable acts of the night involved two Bengali girls. Accompanied by a traditional Bengali folk song in the background, they danced fluidly in their brightly colored saris, with a quiet confidence that rendered the crowd speechless. Although the lyrics were incomprehensible to me, the passion conveyed by the dance was something that I felt was collectively understood.

From my experience, I learned that despite many distinctions between cultures, there is often a universal thread that inevitably links them, whether it is through music or food. This common bond enables diversity to thrive, especially in places such as the University of Michigan, where I hope I can contribute my Filipino heritage, as well as my personal experiences, to the amalgam of cultures already present in the campus.


Home / Undergraduate / "multi-cultural dinner" - UMich Diversity Short Answer
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳