Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   NEW!


Narration for a theme : Look before you leap (Revision)



Alyssa 3 / 6  
Oct 26, 2012   #1
Shopping with my mother in traditional market has become a nightmare for me recently. For a long time, traditional market which is located in the central of the town is always the first choice for our Saturday routine. It is because the traditional market on Saturday is the most bustling that almost all vendors from different areas will gather at among other weekdays. However, something happened when we last paid a visit to the market. The market was full of noisy sounds as usual. The vendors shouted loudly to attract customers. Stinky smell of fish mixed with the fragrance of newly-picked flowers was suffocating and unendurable. The blood stain of the animals was the normal scene when people stopped by the meat booths. Walking through the crowded path, suddenly we noticed a strange stand which we had never seen before. Along with the stall stood a wooden board with the words "Magic Cloths" painted on it. There were many pieces of colorful cloths with exquisite embroidery or Hakka print hanging around the stand. Touching the folded smooth cloths, we were looking forward to seeing how the seller sold his product. Surprisingly enough, the vendor amazed us by turning those cloths into vests and scarves without sewing. With the vendor's expressive language, my mother and I undoubtedly bought ten pieces of cloths. When we unwrapped them at home and tried as the same as the vendor did, we found out it was merely a fraud. They were no more than just pieces of cloths with beautiful patterns. We lost one thousand dollars because of our carelessness. Until now, those "Magic Cloths" hanging in my room keep reminding me of this silly mistake without thinking twice.

--------
Again, I need some suggestions about my grammar or wordiness.
The professor told the class to add physical description elements but since I had written some physical description.
It is difficult for me to come up with more ideas. QWQ
I do need help!!



Home / Undergraduate / Narration for a theme : Look before you leap (Revision)
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳