'Neal bhai' - your activities (150 words or less) common app

"Hey Neal bhai! Can you come here and tell me how it was when you were a camper?" The first time I heard that, a feeling of happiness and importance came over me. I've been going to Vraj Youth Camp for the past 7 years. I had been a camper all those years and always looked forward to when I could become a counselor, like all those before me, and help the younger kids understand about religion. I finally became a counselor after my junior year in high school and I could say that it was one of the best experiences of my life. Instilling my memories of camp and what I learned all throughout my years at camp into these kids made me feel like I had a responsibility to them. Spending one week away from home and teaching kids who look up to you, I could do that.

Its exactly a 150 words.

Good evening.

Grammatically and mechanically, your essay is clean. You do a good job of describing why you are involved with this activity, and your opening as well as your closing are effective.

Good job!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

thank you!

It's a great essay, but the question says 'elaborate'. It tells a nice story but doesn't actually tell what you DID being a camp counselor. What were your responsibilities and how is that going to help you in college?