Hey guys...
I'd really appreciate any feedback before I submit as I have been out of the practice of writing for some time now! Thank you!!!!
Here is the question I had to answer...
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
Prompt:
One of the most vivid memories of my childhood was attending summer school as a "volunteer" for my mother, a Special Education teacher at the time. A majority of the students she taught suffered from Autism; ranging from mild behavioral disorders to severe retardation. At first, I was frightened as certain behaviors these children displayed were not what I was used to seeing; very quickly my fear turned into curiosity. This curiosity triggered something inside me that is unexplainable and from that summer on, I had a fascination with the human brain and how it operated. I would go home after each day asking countless questions, which then turned into a life-long fact-finding mission and now, the main reason I am back in school to further feed my curiosity and become a student of Neuroscience with efforts in becoming a Pediatric Neurologist.
As I got into college, my passion for becoming a Physician began to fade as making money began to cloud my educational journey. I had discovered that I had a knack for sales and started to make quite the nice life for myself and my family; business was good and only seemed to be getting better. Very shortly after I came to be co-owner of a Real Estate company I became rather complacent and began to wonder if this was it; was this all I was capable of?
I attended a Real Estate seminar and became engaged in a very stimulating conversation with a fellow broker from Florida, who was also a retired Neurosurgeon. It was as if a fire was lit inside of me as I was able to share my passion for the brain with someone who shared as profound an interest as I. That very night I started looking into what it took to become a physician and haven't looked back since. I recently disbanded the business with my partner, as the classes I enrolled in were challenging me in a way that has further fed my hunger; requiring the majority of my time and focus.
For the past year now, I have been actively learning about the discipline of Neuroscience on my own through books, seminars, and have even been volunteering in a laboratory at UCLA conducting behavioral research for Parkinson's and Huntington's disease. I have also been a clinical intern at Valley Presbyterian Hospital; shadowing various departments and learning what it takes to work in a hospital setting. After donating fifty plus hours in the Pediatrics department, I have discovered that working with children is more rewarding than I ever thought possible and has led me to start volunteering my time with the Michael Hoefflin Foundation, a local charity that provides a whole spectrum of assistance for children with cancer. Although, I still have much more to learn and training to endure, I believe this this is the beginning of something wonderful and cannot wait to expand my knowledge even further.
At first, I was frightened, as certain behaviors these children displayed were not what I was used to seeing; very quickly my fear turned into curiosity.
This curiosity triggered something inside me that is unexplainable and from that summer on, I have had a fascination with the human brain and how it operated.
... I am back in school to further feed my curiosity and become a student of Neuroscience with efforts towards becoming a Pediatric Neurologist.
When I got into college, my passion for becoming a Physician began to fade as making money began to cloud my educational journey.
That very night, I started looking into what it would take to become a physician, and I haven't looked back since.
I recently disbanded the business with my partner, as the classes I enrolled in were challenging me in ways that have further fed my hunger; requiring the majority of my time and focus.
... I have discovered that working with children is more rewarding than I ever thought possible.---I ended this sentence here, as it makes it all clearer to divide the long sentence into two.
...I believe this this is the beginning of something wonderful and I cannot wait to expand my knowledge even further.
Your essay is great, and it shows how lucky they'll be to have you as a student.
