I had to write about my thoughts on diversity and what I would have to contribute to the college in terms of diversity. Please read and critique honestly because it is essential that my essay is perfect! Thank you in advance! :)
"Don't speak English," I mouthed to myself. I wasn't' exactly sure what the strange phrase meant but it was my only knowledge of the new language and I practiced it with triumph. At four years old, I already knew that in America people didn't speak the way that we did in Russia. I sat on the hard airplane seat looking out through the little oval window at the vast and glorious Atlantic Ocean. My mother had told me that it would be a very long time until I would see my mountains and snow again. In the United States, I would have to go to school with children who spoke English and I would have to learn to read and write in the language as well. You may imagine how confusing this all was for a girl of my age. I wondered why American people didn't' simply speak Russian like everybody else I knew. My innocent childhood reflecting, however, developed over the years into a passion for cultural enrichment.
My family found our niche in America among other Russians in the community, but I still assimilated into American culture quickly-absorbing English at a rapid pace amongst my peers at school. I also received a simultaneous education at home, where my parents schooled me in reading and writing Russian. As I entered high school, I was reading Nathanial Hawthorne and Henry David Thoreau in class, while submerging myself in the Russian classics of Leo Tolstoy and Fyodor Dostoyevsky at home. In European History class I would perk up during discussions of Russian history and proudly boaster my first hand knowledge of the topic. I turned to the Russian poetic works of Alexander Pushkin and basked in the fluid and lyrical verses. I wanted to discuss the Russian culture and literature with anybody that would listen!
My friends suggested to me that I attend a meeting at the International Club at my high school. I jumped at the opportunity to embellish upon the wonder of being Russian, but the actual experience was beyond what I imagined it would be. I met students from various national backgrounds who like me, were also excited about animated cultural discussions. My fascination expanded beyond my own culture as I realized that so many other people had unique cultural tales to tell. As I became more captivated, I began to attend more meetings in order to further digest the cultural enlightenment. My new awareness evolved into a profound appreciation for diversity. Learning about Muslim fasting customs in Morocco, and German Christmas traditions, it dawned on me that diversity is a crucial component of personal insight. Sharing cultural awareness brings society and life into perspective. The enriching conversations and atmosphere of mutual respect brought everybody closer together, and helped foster a curiosity of worldliness.
I hope to incorporate similar cultural enrichment opportunities during my college experience.
its a very well written essay, but it needs more development on the last line, other tan that, its perfectly fine,.
